In Private Lives, Amanda says the quote above. I'm slightly disappointed to discover that. I thought it was something Noel Coward actually had the guts to admit himself, rather than hide it in a character. Because I think it's a truth that even an exceptional caustic wit who would go on to conjure up the distinctly uncheap emotions of Brief Encounter had to admit.
I've just watched Music and Lyrics. It's a highly silly film. It can be sloppy at times (Drew Barrymore is set up in her first scene as a hypochondriac but then that never comes up again or indeed fits with her character). It does not work hard for any emotion it gets. But it gets them anyway. I really enjoyed myself. I laughed out loud regularly despite being on my own, I bopped a little when the pop songs came on and when the denouement came I didn't quite well up but there was undeniably something (I feel like the appropriate continuation that metaphor would be a slight swelling but that would give the wrong impression.)
It is an extraordinarily potent piece of cheap film. With a multi million pound budget, two of the best stars in the business at these kind of roles, and a script I don't doubt Marc Lawrence worked very hard at it for a long time. Because just as good pop songs are done by great craftsman so are great rom-coms. And what this one did to me was reaffirm that it's what I want to do. They may not always be quite as fluffy as this one but basically that's where I'm headed. I enjoy them. I value them. I respect them. And I want to make them.
And I accept that means a lot more work on my part. This is a craft I'm choosing. It will take careful readings of what works, what doesn't and what makes it stand out. It also reminds me that a little romance and saccharine does a wonderful job of bringing through a 3rd act which is threatening to veer off into drama. Now back to the 2nd draft.
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Conversationing
Hello,
I realise I haven't actually put up anything about Conversationing, the short film we got Southern Exposure funding to make earlier this year.
A taster link is here:
http://vimeo.com/16221983
And as a bit more of a taster- this is the first 2 pages (apologies for the slightly wonky formatting):
1
EXT. PARK-DAY
JACK, 25, is on a park bench. It’s sunny but still a little cold to be out for lunch. He hunches over as he eats his crisps and regrets thinking a breath of fresh air was what he needed.
JILL, 27 with sharp eyes and a distinctive haircut, comes over and sits on the other side of the bench. Jack budges over to give her space. She smiles a thank-you and pulls out a packet of cigarettes.
They sit there in silence but stoically avoiding making eye contact, staring out into the space in front of them.
Suddenly Jill turns to Jack.
Jill nods. This was what she expected.
Jack doesn’t say anything. Then he turns to her.
JILL
No thanks. Would you like a cigarette?
JACK
No, thank-you.
JILL
You don’t smoke?
Jack shakes his head.
Jack thinks about this and then offers her a crisp again. She smiles but mouths ‘NO THANK-YOU’.
Jack nods.
I realise I haven't actually put up anything about Conversationing, the short film we got Southern Exposure funding to make earlier this year.
A taster link is here:
http://vimeo.com/16221983
And as a bit more of a taster- this is the first 2 pages (apologies for the slightly wonky formatting):
1
EXT. PARK-DAY
JACK, 25, is on a park bench. It’s sunny but still a little cold to be out for lunch. He hunches over as he eats his crisps and regrets thinking a breath of fresh air was what he needed.
JILL, 27 with sharp eyes and a distinctive haircut, comes over and sits on the other side of the bench. Jack budges over to give her space. She smiles a thank-you and pulls out a packet of cigarettes.
They sit there in silence but stoically avoiding making eye contact, staring out into the space in front of them.
Suddenly Jill turns to Jack.
JILL
I’m no good at talking to strangers.
Jack is completely bemused by this comment but eventually replies.I’m no good at talking to strangers.
JACK
Me neither.
Jill nods. This was what she expected.
JILL
I just don’t know how to start.
I just don’t know how to start.
Jack doesn’t say anything. Then he turns to her.
JACK
Would you like a crisp?
Would you like a crisp?
JILL
No thanks. Would you like a cigarette?
JACK
No, thank-you.
JILL
You don’t smoke?
JILL
I ask because there’s some weird rule whereby,
even though someone’s offered you something,
if you don’t know them, you feel rude taking it.
I ask because there’s some weird rule whereby,
even though someone’s offered you something,
if you don’t know them, you feel rude taking it.
Jack thinks about this and then offers her a crisp again. She smiles but mouths ‘NO THANK-YOU’.
JILL
Do you need to be alone right
now?
JACK
I’m sorry?
JILL
Are you enjoying a bit of time to
yourself? Not having to interact.
JACK
I don’t mind it.
JILL
But, if a friend walked around
the corner right now, would you
want to talk to them?
Jack thinks about this.Do you need to be alone right
now?
JACK
I’m sorry?
JILL
Are you enjoying a bit of time to
yourself? Not having to interact.
JACK
I don’t mind it.
JILL
But, if a friend walked around
the corner right now, would you
want to talk to them?
JACK
Yes.
JILL
Because right now, you’d be happy
to have a good conversation?
Jack nods.
JILL
The frustrating thing is that I know there’s
something we could have a really good
conversation about. Some way we could spend
the next five minutes which would be so
much better then just awkwardly ignoring
each other. But we’re just going to stare in
silence because we don’t know what that
thing we have in common is?
Jack eats a crisp as slowly as he can as the silence descends again. Then Jack turns to Jill for the first time.Yes.
JILL
Because right now, you’d be happy
to have a good conversation?
Jack nods.
The frustrating thing is that I know there’s
something we could have a really good
conversation about. Some way we could spend
the next five minutes which would be so
much better then just awkwardly ignoring
each other. But we’re just going to stare in
silence because we don’t know what that
thing we have in common is?
JACK
I’m going to a gig this evening.
JILL
A music gig?
I’m going to a gig this evening.
JILL
A music gig?
Jack nods.
JILL
I never really go to music gigs.
If you'd like to read the script or see the film (13 mins) get in touch and I'll send you a copy/link.
I never really go to music gigs.
If you'd like to read the script or see the film (13 mins) get in touch and I'll send you a copy/link.
Saturday, 28 August 2010
Encounters at the End of the World
Getting through the backlog is going to require more effort than I realised, especially if I keep watching new ones. So, to try and keep on top of the fresh ones here is Encounters at the End of the World.
I had a choice between two films courtesy of Love film. Encounters at the end of the world and Let the right one in. I've heard so many good things about let the right one in that I decided not to watch it because I was a bit tired and more importantly I thought my flatmates might appear two thirds of the way through and ruin the atmosphere.
Which doesn't say much about my expectations of Encounters at the End of the World. But I was right in the sense that it is sufficently episodic that an interruption halfway through wouldn't have changed much.
It's a great concept for a film. Herzog, that obsessive recorder of obsessives, has found his natural home. As one of those interviewed says, Antarctica is where those without anything holding them down drop to. Where those with a true wanderlust find themselves. There are people working there who have travelled between Peru and Ecuador in a sewage pipe (which was on the back of a lorry it turns out, which was a bit disappointing but still pretty good).
Herzog makes the not unreasonable guess that a place like this is going to be full of stories. That in the frontier like town some of humanity's most interesting specimans will be found. Having said that he doesn't seem that interested in them. He moans about the lack of charm in a settlement of prefabs and diggers. About a strictly run establishment where they have to do a two day survival course to be allowed out. There's one scene which shows the unlikely entertainment that occurs when this curious group let off steam but generally he can't wait to get out there. The settlement reeks of civilisation too much.
And he's right the truly magnificent parts of this film involve diving under the ice: The cosmic sounds of the seals, the extraordinary vista of a frozen ceiling to the sea and the descriptions and images of the creatures that live in the deep. There's an exhibition at the Natural History Museum which I'm desperate to see now before it ends. It's a truly magnificent world.
Add to that icebergs with so much water they could keep the River Jordan running for a 1000 years, 1 cell organisms which exhibit signs of intelligence, volcanoes which go straight down into the magma of the earth's core and penguins who run madly for the mountains far from the sea and their companions destined to drop down dead long before they get there, and you can see why he was desperate to get out there.
Given this I think he should have set it up more in two bits. First bit the humans who would think of coming to such a place. Second bit the place itself and why it endlessly fascinates those who have seen so much of the world already. It feels choppy, like he hasn't got a handle on what brings it together. Maybe there isn't anything. There is little that can connect it but without that it's possible to lose concentration even when you see all the things I've described. He's not helped by so many people who while theoretically fascinating are not actually engaging people- not surprising really, you don't travel to Antarctica to engage your easy charm.
I wish I'd seen it on the big screen and I long to see more images of the sea with the ice ceiling but I can't help feeling that somehow Herzog didn't know what to do with the extraordinary material he was sitting on.
I had a choice between two films courtesy of Love film. Encounters at the end of the world and Let the right one in. I've heard so many good things about let the right one in that I decided not to watch it because I was a bit tired and more importantly I thought my flatmates might appear two thirds of the way through and ruin the atmosphere.
Which doesn't say much about my expectations of Encounters at the End of the World. But I was right in the sense that it is sufficently episodic that an interruption halfway through wouldn't have changed much.
It's a great concept for a film. Herzog, that obsessive recorder of obsessives, has found his natural home. As one of those interviewed says, Antarctica is where those without anything holding them down drop to. Where those with a true wanderlust find themselves. There are people working there who have travelled between Peru and Ecuador in a sewage pipe (which was on the back of a lorry it turns out, which was a bit disappointing but still pretty good).
Herzog makes the not unreasonable guess that a place like this is going to be full of stories. That in the frontier like town some of humanity's most interesting specimans will be found. Having said that he doesn't seem that interested in them. He moans about the lack of charm in a settlement of prefabs and diggers. About a strictly run establishment where they have to do a two day survival course to be allowed out. There's one scene which shows the unlikely entertainment that occurs when this curious group let off steam but generally he can't wait to get out there. The settlement reeks of civilisation too much.
And he's right the truly magnificent parts of this film involve diving under the ice: The cosmic sounds of the seals, the extraordinary vista of a frozen ceiling to the sea and the descriptions and images of the creatures that live in the deep. There's an exhibition at the Natural History Museum which I'm desperate to see now before it ends. It's a truly magnificent world.
Add to that icebergs with so much water they could keep the River Jordan running for a 1000 years, 1 cell organisms which exhibit signs of intelligence, volcanoes which go straight down into the magma of the earth's core and penguins who run madly for the mountains far from the sea and their companions destined to drop down dead long before they get there, and you can see why he was desperate to get out there.
Given this I think he should have set it up more in two bits. First bit the humans who would think of coming to such a place. Second bit the place itself and why it endlessly fascinates those who have seen so much of the world already. It feels choppy, like he hasn't got a handle on what brings it together. Maybe there isn't anything. There is little that can connect it but without that it's possible to lose concentration even when you see all the things I've described. He's not helped by so many people who while theoretically fascinating are not actually engaging people- not surprising really, you don't travel to Antarctica to engage your easy charm.
I wish I'd seen it on the big screen and I long to see more images of the sea with the ice ceiling but I can't help feeling that somehow Herzog didn't know what to do with the extraordinary material he was sitting on.
Thursday, 26 August 2010
The Illusionist
My goodness I've got a lot of films to write about. These are going to be short and snappy and proof positive about how I need to write these things nearer to the event for them to have meaning. But hey ho.
The Illusionist was a film that hadn't entered my consciousness. I'd seen an article about it which I thought was saying that it was on in Edinburgh at the moment. A minor mental note to look out for it but presuming it wasn't out and not that excited.
And then I found myself in the cinema, knackered, meeting a friend to watch The Secrets in their Eyes in a couple hours and it was about to start. I thought watch this now and enjoy it or try and stay awake through the heavier film and not got to sleep. It was a mistake. Not least because I failed to get the sleep I was aiming for. And that probably colours my view of a film that has much going through it.
It's by the Belleville guy and carries much of the charm and beauty of that. But while I don't remember Belleville very much anymore I remember thinking it had a decent pace. The Illusionist is stately. Which makes sense when you're dealing with loneliness. You can't be busy and notice that you're lonely. You can be aware of it and have it lurking, ready to strike when you stop, making your determined not to. But for an audience loneliness needs quiet but even more than that it needs slowness (I feel there's another word an articulate person would use but it's not coming). It needs an audience to have the space to reflect on what they're seeing. The question isn't 'what happens next', it's 'what is he feeling'. It's a hard trick. And I don't know it always pulls it off.
So the good, it's beautiful. All of it but especially Edinburgh. I've been to Edinburgh twice in my life but it was amazing how much the images evoked it (it also fitted in beautifully with One Day which I was reading at the time) and made me feel as if it was somewhere I really knew.
It's a great world. The end of vaudueville. The guy is an incredible illusionist. Just a genius. But he lacks panache, showmanship and he's just not interesting when there are heartthrob rock bands to get the girls throwing knickers at. And he's not alone. There are clowns and ventriloquists and acrobats. And they're all suffering. The acrobats survive a bit more. Partly because they're a team. But the clown and the ventriloquist are broken men.
As is the Illusionist but for a little while he has a companion. A hopelessly naive young girl who believes he actually is a magician. And expects shoes and coats to be magiced up for her. I get the idea that a lonely man would indulge this emotion to have someone in their life. And I get the idea of wanting to have a daughter to indulge. But nonetheless I could never quite take it. The girl isn't charmingly naive. She's not interested in the man treating her. And she's staggeringly materialistic. I can't take interest in someone who on discovering a magical father figure just want to find a nice dress so she can find a nice man. It feels like such a lack of both imagination and soul.
And because I can't like her, I can't really like it. But it sticks. It does. The bad tricks. The vistas. The essential toughness of a man who has so little going for him but keeps at it. Fail again. Fail better.
So don't go in expecting Belleville. Don't go in expecting to come out laughing and skipping. But there is beauty and humour in this and I have this feeling of finding myself at 50 watching again and it hitting a chord it can't quite on a lucky 20 something who doesn't feel alone that often. Well, not lonely at least. Or more accurately hasn't this week.
The Illusionist was a film that hadn't entered my consciousness. I'd seen an article about it which I thought was saying that it was on in Edinburgh at the moment. A minor mental note to look out for it but presuming it wasn't out and not that excited.
And then I found myself in the cinema, knackered, meeting a friend to watch The Secrets in their Eyes in a couple hours and it was about to start. I thought watch this now and enjoy it or try and stay awake through the heavier film and not got to sleep. It was a mistake. Not least because I failed to get the sleep I was aiming for. And that probably colours my view of a film that has much going through it.
It's by the Belleville guy and carries much of the charm and beauty of that. But while I don't remember Belleville very much anymore I remember thinking it had a decent pace. The Illusionist is stately. Which makes sense when you're dealing with loneliness. You can't be busy and notice that you're lonely. You can be aware of it and have it lurking, ready to strike when you stop, making your determined not to. But for an audience loneliness needs quiet but even more than that it needs slowness (I feel there's another word an articulate person would use but it's not coming). It needs an audience to have the space to reflect on what they're seeing. The question isn't 'what happens next', it's 'what is he feeling'. It's a hard trick. And I don't know it always pulls it off.
So the good, it's beautiful. All of it but especially Edinburgh. I've been to Edinburgh twice in my life but it was amazing how much the images evoked it (it also fitted in beautifully with One Day which I was reading at the time) and made me feel as if it was somewhere I really knew.
It's a great world. The end of vaudueville. The guy is an incredible illusionist. Just a genius. But he lacks panache, showmanship and he's just not interesting when there are heartthrob rock bands to get the girls throwing knickers at. And he's not alone. There are clowns and ventriloquists and acrobats. And they're all suffering. The acrobats survive a bit more. Partly because they're a team. But the clown and the ventriloquist are broken men.
As is the Illusionist but for a little while he has a companion. A hopelessly naive young girl who believes he actually is a magician. And expects shoes and coats to be magiced up for her. I get the idea that a lonely man would indulge this emotion to have someone in their life. And I get the idea of wanting to have a daughter to indulge. But nonetheless I could never quite take it. The girl isn't charmingly naive. She's not interested in the man treating her. And she's staggeringly materialistic. I can't take interest in someone who on discovering a magical father figure just want to find a nice dress so she can find a nice man. It feels like such a lack of both imagination and soul.
And because I can't like her, I can't really like it. But it sticks. It does. The bad tricks. The vistas. The essential toughness of a man who has so little going for him but keeps at it. Fail again. Fail better.
So don't go in expecting Belleville. Don't go in expecting to come out laughing and skipping. But there is beauty and humour in this and I have this feeling of finding myself at 50 watching again and it hitting a chord it can't quite on a lucky 20 something who doesn't feel alone that often. Well, not lonely at least. Or more accurately hasn't this week.
Saturday, 31 July 2010
Star Trek
In which I demonstrate when I'm well behind the curve by reviewing films Lovefilm have chucked me as well.
Very upset with myself for missing this the first time around. It is everything a blockbuster should be. Fast paced, witty, some nicely judged set pieces and intriguingly un po-faced given its subject matter.
I applaud the attempt to free an idea from its enormous history by a nifty piece of time travel. It will certainly free up any further franchises which is undeniably important. Also I think by making Spock someone who a) has lost his homeland and b) has a sex drive, you've allowed yourself massive freedom in the dynamics between them going forward.
I'm not totally convinced by Simon Pegg which is a shame as he's normally ace but it's got Zoe Saldana in it which is never a bad thing.
My only real quibble with it is that there's a massive coincidence at the centre of it which I feel they were a bit sloppy not to deal with. When Kirk gets chucked into outer space (which in itself I think happened too quickly, I think another option needs to actually fail before you chuck him out of a pod) conveniently landing within walking distance of the marooned old school Spock was a bit lazy. I think you needed to have a reason why he goes there. Maybe in order to get rid of him new school Spock get Kirk to check out something that doesn't make sense there. It's just an awful lot of deus ex machina in the middle of the film especially with the Scotty beaming technique as well. To be honest that beaming technique is a really really powerful thing to be letting loose. Obviously being a piece of technology it can break down but it stymies a lot of plotting for future episodes because it's so handy.
But sod it, they're young and brash and make the whole thing look exciting and new. It's what a blockbuster should be and I should have seen it at time.
Bones is rubbish though.
Very upset with myself for missing this the first time around. It is everything a blockbuster should be. Fast paced, witty, some nicely judged set pieces and intriguingly un po-faced given its subject matter.
I applaud the attempt to free an idea from its enormous history by a nifty piece of time travel. It will certainly free up any further franchises which is undeniably important. Also I think by making Spock someone who a) has lost his homeland and b) has a sex drive, you've allowed yourself massive freedom in the dynamics between them going forward.
I'm not totally convinced by Simon Pegg which is a shame as he's normally ace but it's got Zoe Saldana in it which is never a bad thing.
My only real quibble with it is that there's a massive coincidence at the centre of it which I feel they were a bit sloppy not to deal with. When Kirk gets chucked into outer space (which in itself I think happened too quickly, I think another option needs to actually fail before you chuck him out of a pod) conveniently landing within walking distance of the marooned old school Spock was a bit lazy. I think you needed to have a reason why he goes there. Maybe in order to get rid of him new school Spock get Kirk to check out something that doesn't make sense there. It's just an awful lot of deus ex machina in the middle of the film especially with the Scotty beaming technique as well. To be honest that beaming technique is a really really powerful thing to be letting loose. Obviously being a piece of technology it can break down but it stymies a lot of plotting for future episodes because it's so handy.
But sod it, they're young and brash and make the whole thing look exciting and new. It's what a blockbuster should be and I should have seen it at time.
Bones is rubbish though.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
Heartbreakers
In a way I have little to say about this. I love it. Let's keep it to that.
It's exactly the kind of film I want to make. High concept. Romantic. Highly silly. And with a good broad base of comedy.
I'm not by nature as entranced by the world of the super rich and find it a little unattractive how utterly comfortable this film is with it but there's no denying that the odd bit of glorious decadence has its charms.
My main criticism is that having created a debt problem which forces him into the situation of having to break up a happy couple, they weedle their way out of that a bit. I don't think they had to. I think it's sloppy. I think there was comfortably a way for him to pay back the money without it just being written off and they should have fought harder to find out what it was.
But it's a small grumble. I was sufficiently enwrapped in it that I did genuinely wonder at one point if he was going to do the noble thing and let a happy couple get married. This is ridiculous. No audience will watch a film in which a strong chemistry is built up between two characters and then say, it's alright, he'll marry the slightly wet british due. But they balanced it well enough that it didn't seem completely implausible, especially to me who is always looking for the Casblanca ending. Stoicism and self-sacrifice always being more satisfying than finding true happiness in my head. Explains a lot.
I hear Working Title have the rights to the remake and I've been pondering what I would do if they asked me to adapt it. It would clearly be transatlantic. There's a touch of exoticism about it which means that I think certainly a Brit can't be magically seduced by a brit very successfully and I wonder if an American could by an American so easily. And I'd want to expand his team a little bit, it would be nice to have at least one more involved. But the key place for me is settings. I'd want to make it in London or New York and to have that sense of there being a super rich life which is very interesting but another part of London which is just as interesting. It sounds dangerously like I'm getting into Titanic style 'look poor people have so much more fun with their singing and dancing and lack of dinner parties' but I'm guess I'm looking for the sense of her untapping a more alternative side.
Anyway end of babble. But I definitely feel that it's a shame that I haven't made it as a script writer yet otherwise I would be calling up Working Title to talk about my pitch for it.
It's exactly the kind of film I want to make. High concept. Romantic. Highly silly. And with a good broad base of comedy.
I'm not by nature as entranced by the world of the super rich and find it a little unattractive how utterly comfortable this film is with it but there's no denying that the odd bit of glorious decadence has its charms.
My main criticism is that having created a debt problem which forces him into the situation of having to break up a happy couple, they weedle their way out of that a bit. I don't think they had to. I think it's sloppy. I think there was comfortably a way for him to pay back the money without it just being written off and they should have fought harder to find out what it was.
But it's a small grumble. I was sufficiently enwrapped in it that I did genuinely wonder at one point if he was going to do the noble thing and let a happy couple get married. This is ridiculous. No audience will watch a film in which a strong chemistry is built up between two characters and then say, it's alright, he'll marry the slightly wet british due. But they balanced it well enough that it didn't seem completely implausible, especially to me who is always looking for the Casblanca ending. Stoicism and self-sacrifice always being more satisfying than finding true happiness in my head. Explains a lot.
I hear Working Title have the rights to the remake and I've been pondering what I would do if they asked me to adapt it. It would clearly be transatlantic. There's a touch of exoticism about it which means that I think certainly a Brit can't be magically seduced by a brit very successfully and I wonder if an American could by an American so easily. And I'd want to expand his team a little bit, it would be nice to have at least one more involved. But the key place for me is settings. I'd want to make it in London or New York and to have that sense of there being a super rich life which is very interesting but another part of London which is just as interesting. It sounds dangerously like I'm getting into Titanic style 'look poor people have so much more fun with their singing and dancing and lack of dinner parties' but I'm guess I'm looking for the sense of her untapping a more alternative side.
Anyway end of babble. But I definitely feel that it's a shame that I haven't made it as a script writer yet otherwise I would be calling up Working Title to talk about my pitch for it.
Inception
So went to see Inception at the IMAX last night. There are plenty of SPOILERS in this so don't read on until you've seen it because you should.
It is good. There's no denying that in the grand scheme of blockbusters this one is smart, engaging and technically magnificent.
But it's a Christopher Nolan film and I want to hold it to a higher standard. Which leaves me unsure.
So I'll start by describing how I felt. As I came out of the IMAX and put on this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqT5Y2Ul3bg and headed out I was strangely removed from my surroundings. The southbank at night with the lights gleaming, and they seemed to be sharper than usual although that may be just I cleaned them for once, has a surreal aspect. You walk above and around buildings and strange exhibits and performances go on around you, the London Eye and the Palace of Westminster can be seen together looking like different worlds.
Now I do that walk a lot. It's always great and there's nowhere on earth I love more. But it doesn't often feel other-wordly. Which is a strong sign that Inception worked. It left me feeling a little bit discombobulated, a little bit gleefully wondering if I was in a dream. Which was great. On that visceral level it had worked.
What's more it's got all its ducks in a row in terms of internal logic and uncertainty. It fits together and has no big flaws in what's a gloriously difficult thing to map. So technically as a script it deserves a huge amount of praise.
And yet. And yet. The same precision that made the internal logic so tight and the set pieces fit so meticulously seems to slightly constrain it. The plot ties us into dreams which must not deviate too much from reality because there are people involved who must not suspect it's a dream.
This is a shame because a) early on Dicaprio points out that you never realise a dream is weird while you're in it, yet they spend the rest of the film making dreams if anything more boring then the world Dicaprio actually lives in. Now that may be deliberate to stress that sneaking suspicion throughout the movie that Dicaprio is actually dreaming. But it also makes a slightly disappointing touch to the big sequence that defines it.
The original dream worlds we see involve beautiful ornate japanese palaces full of black tie guests, rioters streaming through the streets of some unknown city and, in the scene that truly makes the most of the freedom of dreams, a Paris which bends in on itself, builds bridges and contorts mirrors. It also has a Tokyo which feels as gloriously urban and unsettling as it can on film and a Mombasa that feels surreal and wondrously exotic but they're in the real world. And that's b) they've made the real world cities pretty exciting. And then they've gone and made one of the dreams a raining LA with lots of chasing cars in a way that feels like a million derivative action movies, a stylish hotel which I do quite like and crucially loses gravity which allows for lots of great scenes and a snowy lair which, as has been mentioned by many people, feels like Roger Moore era Bond and crucially means we rarely see who is who and lost interest soon after.
At the end of it they end up in DiCaprio's head, in a dream world he spent years creating with his wife and Ellen Page says how magnificent it is but to be honest it doesn't seem that great. It's the wrong end of the film to be chucking in an even more fantastic world but then don't say it is magnificent. Say it has a simplicity that is beautiful. And make the raining LA and the snowy fortress a bit more magical. Make this world a contrast.
My other complaint is that there's no room given to anyone but Cobb having a character really. Now this may well be deliberate. They are after all quite possibly any memories or indeed creations from his subconscious. But if they can't have character arcs they could at least have character. There's one moment when Joseph Gordon Levitt persuades Ellen Page to kiss him to hide the parts of his subconscious from staring at him. It has no effect, why would it? But it was worth a shot. Page's smile is one of the few moments of warmth and humour in the whole film. And I guess it would have been nice to give them a little more to say for themselves. Page in particular is basil exposition a lot of the time.
But I've realised something over the last few days with Heartbreakers and this. I love a heist. I love a team plotting something fiendish. It might be a perfect date or a perfect crime or a perfect ride but it's that sense of things being planned and them being one step ahead of you or thinking they are that is immensely satisfying.
So yeah, it is a great blockbuster. Lacking the visceral power of the Dark Knight or the mind blowing imagination of Avatar but it's tight and exciting and you come out with that sense of having been taken to another place which makes focusing on the real world a little tricky. I just feel that from where it started he could have let himself go a little, a little more flair, a little more humour, a little less po-faced angst. Which teaches me something because I always thought a film could never be too tight. So there's my learning experience. Flair vs discipline, discipline shouldn't always win, even for me.
It is good. There's no denying that in the grand scheme of blockbusters this one is smart, engaging and technically magnificent.
But it's a Christopher Nolan film and I want to hold it to a higher standard. Which leaves me unsure.
So I'll start by describing how I felt. As I came out of the IMAX and put on this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqT5Y2Ul3bg and headed out I was strangely removed from my surroundings. The southbank at night with the lights gleaming, and they seemed to be sharper than usual although that may be just I cleaned them for once, has a surreal aspect. You walk above and around buildings and strange exhibits and performances go on around you, the London Eye and the Palace of Westminster can be seen together looking like different worlds.
Now I do that walk a lot. It's always great and there's nowhere on earth I love more. But it doesn't often feel other-wordly. Which is a strong sign that Inception worked. It left me feeling a little bit discombobulated, a little bit gleefully wondering if I was in a dream. Which was great. On that visceral level it had worked.
What's more it's got all its ducks in a row in terms of internal logic and uncertainty. It fits together and has no big flaws in what's a gloriously difficult thing to map. So technically as a script it deserves a huge amount of praise.
And yet. And yet. The same precision that made the internal logic so tight and the set pieces fit so meticulously seems to slightly constrain it. The plot ties us into dreams which must not deviate too much from reality because there are people involved who must not suspect it's a dream.
This is a shame because a) early on Dicaprio points out that you never realise a dream is weird while you're in it, yet they spend the rest of the film making dreams if anything more boring then the world Dicaprio actually lives in. Now that may be deliberate to stress that sneaking suspicion throughout the movie that Dicaprio is actually dreaming. But it also makes a slightly disappointing touch to the big sequence that defines it.
The original dream worlds we see involve beautiful ornate japanese palaces full of black tie guests, rioters streaming through the streets of some unknown city and, in the scene that truly makes the most of the freedom of dreams, a Paris which bends in on itself, builds bridges and contorts mirrors. It also has a Tokyo which feels as gloriously urban and unsettling as it can on film and a Mombasa that feels surreal and wondrously exotic but they're in the real world. And that's b) they've made the real world cities pretty exciting. And then they've gone and made one of the dreams a raining LA with lots of chasing cars in a way that feels like a million derivative action movies, a stylish hotel which I do quite like and crucially loses gravity which allows for lots of great scenes and a snowy lair which, as has been mentioned by many people, feels like Roger Moore era Bond and crucially means we rarely see who is who and lost interest soon after.
At the end of it they end up in DiCaprio's head, in a dream world he spent years creating with his wife and Ellen Page says how magnificent it is but to be honest it doesn't seem that great. It's the wrong end of the film to be chucking in an even more fantastic world but then don't say it is magnificent. Say it has a simplicity that is beautiful. And make the raining LA and the snowy fortress a bit more magical. Make this world a contrast.
My other complaint is that there's no room given to anyone but Cobb having a character really. Now this may well be deliberate. They are after all quite possibly any memories or indeed creations from his subconscious. But if they can't have character arcs they could at least have character. There's one moment when Joseph Gordon Levitt persuades Ellen Page to kiss him to hide the parts of his subconscious from staring at him. It has no effect, why would it? But it was worth a shot. Page's smile is one of the few moments of warmth and humour in the whole film. And I guess it would have been nice to give them a little more to say for themselves. Page in particular is basil exposition a lot of the time.
But I've realised something over the last few days with Heartbreakers and this. I love a heist. I love a team plotting something fiendish. It might be a perfect date or a perfect crime or a perfect ride but it's that sense of things being planned and them being one step ahead of you or thinking they are that is immensely satisfying.
So yeah, it is a great blockbuster. Lacking the visceral power of the Dark Knight or the mind blowing imagination of Avatar but it's tight and exciting and you come out with that sense of having been taken to another place which makes focusing on the real world a little tricky. I just feel that from where it started he could have let himself go a little, a little more flair, a little more humour, a little less po-faced angst. Which teaches me something because I always thought a film could never be too tight. So there's my learning experience. Flair vs discipline, discipline shouldn't always win, even for me.
Saturday, 24 July 2010
A first line
'You often hear people say that they love their wife, or husband or partner or child or ferrari, more than life itself. And I never understood that. Life itself had never been one of those things that seemed particularly worthy of my love. That's why I wanted to fall in love. Because life itself wasn't worth loving at the moment'
If I'm by my computer or phone and the thought comes it's going to be posted however shit, so bare with me.
If I'm by my computer or phone and the thought comes it's going to be posted however shit, so bare with me.
Friday, 23 July 2010
A fresh start
Hey,
So up until now this blog has been a place to put up bits of two scripts of Advanced Fun and Towards Java. Those bits are still up there if anyone is interested but they're both in more serious development now and not for general sharing.
So instead I'm going to share two other things. The first is my thoughts on films I see as I think reviewing will help me to focus on the audience experience. Which is pretty crucial to writing stuff people enjoy.
Secondly I'm going to post those little random ideas I have. Now on one level this is madness: If I've got an idea then I should be keeping it to myself and nurturing it until it's something I can sell. But I figure a) I've got enough ideas to be nurturing at the moment and b) at the risk of sounding heinously hippy, if I'm the right person to nurture it then I'll be able to make a better version of it then anyone who reads it on a blog and has a go. And if I'm not well then I'm glad that someone has picked it up and run with it.
So yeah you're getting reviews and first bits of whimsy. Hope you like it.
So up until now this blog has been a place to put up bits of two scripts of Advanced Fun and Towards Java. Those bits are still up there if anyone is interested but they're both in more serious development now and not for general sharing.
So instead I'm going to share two other things. The first is my thoughts on films I see as I think reviewing will help me to focus on the audience experience. Which is pretty crucial to writing stuff people enjoy.
Secondly I'm going to post those little random ideas I have. Now on one level this is madness: If I've got an idea then I should be keeping it to myself and nurturing it until it's something I can sell. But I figure a) I've got enough ideas to be nurturing at the moment and b) at the risk of sounding heinously hippy, if I'm the right person to nurture it then I'll be able to make a better version of it then anyone who reads it on a blog and has a go. And if I'm not well then I'm glad that someone has picked it up and run with it.
So yeah you're getting reviews and first bits of whimsy. Hope you like it.
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
Conversation in Bed
This conversation between Lois and Toby discussing whether Mark is a virgin or not is out there somewhere. I will find it in my notes, I promise. In the meantime, just believe that I've written a conversation where Lois and Toby discuss this and the upshot is that Lois persuades Toby he should talk to Mark about sex.
Toby is not up for this conversation and finds himself dealing with a Mark who is not showing any of the vulnerability or concern Lois insists he must be feeling. He's feeling very good about himself and life in general and is up for the next thing.
In fact, he brings the next thing to them. Toby and Lois are both meant to be out but Toby's thing gets cancelled so he's home. And there he discovers Mark guiltily being caught being naughty while the parent are away. He's smoking dope with Seb. Toby is mortified that Mark is doing this kind of thing behind their back. He sees they're already seen as a bit of a hindrance.
They get stoned and Toby has two things he needs to say
1) he recognises that Mark is a bloke and blokes don't always feel comfortable talking about sex. So he's not going to force any awkward conversations. If you want to talk about it, that's cool. But not going to push it. However if Lois asked they talked about it and he's been really helpful.
2) please indulge Lois. She's well into this for some reason and it would kill her if she discovered that we were doing things without her.
Mark notes that Toby is doing a slightly poor impression of a father trying to be cool but insists he's very grateful and up for what they've got planned. Just he'll do his own stuff as well.
This idea of being a bit like cool parents is one I'd like to develop.
Toby is not up for this conversation and finds himself dealing with a Mark who is not showing any of the vulnerability or concern Lois insists he must be feeling. He's feeling very good about himself and life in general and is up for the next thing.
In fact, he brings the next thing to them. Toby and Lois are both meant to be out but Toby's thing gets cancelled so he's home. And there he discovers Mark guiltily being caught being naughty while the parent are away. He's smoking dope with Seb. Toby is mortified that Mark is doing this kind of thing behind their back. He sees they're already seen as a bit of a hindrance.
They get stoned and Toby has two things he needs to say
1) he recognises that Mark is a bloke and blokes don't always feel comfortable talking about sex. So he's not going to force any awkward conversations. If you want to talk about it, that's cool. But not going to push it. However if Lois asked they talked about it and he's been really helpful.
2) please indulge Lois. She's well into this for some reason and it would kill her if she discovered that we were doing things without her.
Mark notes that Toby is doing a slightly poor impression of a father trying to be cool but insists he's very grateful and up for what they've got planned. Just he'll do his own stuff as well.
This idea of being a bit like cool parents is one I'd like to develop.
Morning after
t's the Sunday morning after. Lois wakes up to hear the smell of bacon frying. She comes down to see Toby putting the final touches to a fry up. She comes down and gives him a big snog. He backs off a bit and she's shocked until she sees Mark also in the
Kitchen resolutely looking out the window. He's surprisingly clear headed but feeling in need of some sugar.
At breakfast he dissects the night before: what it's like to be drunk. The weird dynamic of clubs where so many people don't dance. The fact you spend so much money and don't care. He gets why people seem to cop off with randomers. Awkward silence after that one. Interested how when you're really drunk you just want to drink more even though you clearly don't need it. Why people queue to get into placed where you can't hear each other think even when it's not a place where people do anything but drink.
End on the cop off bit- leads to conversation between Lois and Toby that night.
Note, this should be a really lively conversation, despite the delicacy of Lois. I want there to be a really strong contrast between the noise, the colour, the life of this morning after and what happens later.
Kitchen resolutely looking out the window. He's surprisingly clear headed but feeling in need of some sugar.
At breakfast he dissects the night before: what it's like to be drunk. The weird dynamic of clubs where so many people don't dance. The fact you spend so much money and don't care. He gets why people seem to cop off with randomers. Awkward silence after that one. Interested how when you're really drunk you just want to drink more even though you clearly don't need it. Why people queue to get into placed where you can't hear each other think even when it's not a place where people do anything but drink.
End on the cop off bit- leads to conversation between Lois and Toby that night.
Note, this should be a really lively conversation, despite the delicacy of Lois. I want there to be a really strong contrast between the noise, the colour, the life of this morning after and what happens later.
The Piss Up
This stems from the lessons learnt session they have afterwards (I think Lois should actually call it that, but toby insists on calling it going down the pub for a chat.)
Mark explains he's happy with how it went but under pressure admits he didn't actually have fun. He was concentrating too hard. Toby puts it down to the fact he didn't drink that much. Mark explains he didn't want to get too drunk because he was determined not to embarass them. Once Toby learns that he's touched but convinced he's foun the problem. Further prompting shows that Mark'a never got really pissed and so Toby is determined to make sure that this is sorted out.
Now I can get in my mind why Toby would not want Lois to be there but I can't figure out how lois would not want to be there and there's no way he'd not tell her. She's got to be going somewhere- To see a kid. A godchild.
So why don't they wait until she's free. Because it has to be done asap. It's a hump that needs to be crossed. They expect it to end in tears with him parlaytic and in bed by 4pm. It's not meant to be fun. It's a step to being fun.
But that's not what happens. It's a beautiful sunny day, first of spring and they have champagne in the garden. A bottle with some crunchy nut cornflakes. At this point Mark seems to get merry very quickly and Seb and toby look at each other concerned that this could be over before he begins.
Mark, unaware of these concerns merrily grabs a banana before leadin them to the pub. There they drink an play table football. Then they order some lunch (mark notices one of the things about being wasted is you don't really give a fuck about how much you're spending.) he bets Toby that he will last longer than he will.
Next thing we see it's five o'clock and they're carrying Toby home. 'Problem with Toby, no sense of pacing'. Mark considers taking the tenner off him now but figures he'll only spend it if he takes it. He leaves his card at home and takes £60 with him reasoning that will stop him spending more.
Seb persuades him to come away from suburbia. He's never been to the east end and gets shown round Brick Lane. Then they're having a quick dirty burger to keep them going when they get a call from Lois. She's worried that Mark's in a gutter. She comes after them because she doesn't trust Seb (he has form for slinking off with someone).
When she joins them they go into a club and Mark admits he's never danced in public. But he has spent hours in front of MTV impersonating people. Then Billie Jean comes on (alternatively I would love it to be these guys: he's got the moves. He's all go. Dances with Lois. Tries to dance with Seb but he's not having it. Finds himself dancing with a girl and then Lois starts to panic.
She takes Seb into a corner and discusses what they're going to do. She's worried he's a virgin and he's going to spoil it on a drunken binge with a floozy. Seb points out that there's nothing to spoil. She says she thinks it's nice he's waited. Seb points out he hasn't waited. He's been kidnapped.
However their concerns amount to little because a phone goes off in Mark's pocket and he has to go outside to answer it. He's taken Toby's phone with him by accident and Toby was panicking. But Mark wasn't going anywhere with that girl and thinks nothing of it. In fact what he's thinking right now is he feels a bit funny.
Mark stays outside and has a sit down. And a chunder. And a little bit of a cry. But one about how he's never been able to do this before. It's borderline tears of joy. Certainly that's how Seb spins it. They get a cab home.
Mark explains he's happy with how it went but under pressure admits he didn't actually have fun. He was concentrating too hard. Toby puts it down to the fact he didn't drink that much. Mark explains he didn't want to get too drunk because he was determined not to embarass them. Once Toby learns that he's touched but convinced he's foun the problem. Further prompting shows that Mark'a never got really pissed and so Toby is determined to make sure that this is sorted out.
Now I can get in my mind why Toby would not want Lois to be there but I can't figure out how lois would not want to be there and there's no way he'd not tell her. She's got to be going somewhere- To see a kid. A godchild.
So why don't they wait until she's free. Because it has to be done asap. It's a hump that needs to be crossed. They expect it to end in tears with him parlaytic and in bed by 4pm. It's not meant to be fun. It's a step to being fun.
But that's not what happens. It's a beautiful sunny day, first of spring and they have champagne in the garden. A bottle with some crunchy nut cornflakes. At this point Mark seems to get merry very quickly and Seb and toby look at each other concerned that this could be over before he begins.
Mark, unaware of these concerns merrily grabs a banana before leadin them to the pub. There they drink an play table football. Then they order some lunch (mark notices one of the things about being wasted is you don't really give a fuck about how much you're spending.) he bets Toby that he will last longer than he will.
Next thing we see it's five o'clock and they're carrying Toby home. 'Problem with Toby, no sense of pacing'. Mark considers taking the tenner off him now but figures he'll only spend it if he takes it. He leaves his card at home and takes £60 with him reasoning that will stop him spending more.
Seb persuades him to come away from suburbia. He's never been to the east end and gets shown round Brick Lane. Then they're having a quick dirty burger to keep them going when they get a call from Lois. She's worried that Mark's in a gutter. She comes after them because she doesn't trust Seb (he has form for slinking off with someone).
When she joins them they go into a club and Mark admits he's never danced in public. But he has spent hours in front of MTV impersonating people. Then Billie Jean comes on (alternatively I would love it to be these guys: he's got the moves. He's all go. Dances with Lois. Tries to dance with Seb but he's not having it. Finds himself dancing with a girl and then Lois starts to panic.
She takes Seb into a corner and discusses what they're going to do. She's worried he's a virgin and he's going to spoil it on a drunken binge with a floozy. Seb points out that there's nothing to spoil. She says she thinks it's nice he's waited. Seb points out he hasn't waited. He's been kidnapped.
However their concerns amount to little because a phone goes off in Mark's pocket and he has to go outside to answer it. He's taken Toby's phone with him by accident and Toby was panicking. But Mark wasn't going anywhere with that girl and thinks nothing of it. In fact what he's thinking right now is he feels a bit funny.
Mark stays outside and has a sit down. And a chunder. And a little bit of a cry. But one about how he's never been able to do this before. It's borderline tears of joy. Certainly that's how Seb spins it. They get a cab home.
Occupations
I think before I get any further I do need to establish what kind of jobs they have.
Lois is obviously a consultant. I feel it should be rebranding. Her great achievements involve us no longer thinking of sweets by their old names. Makes her very unpopular with people who loved Opal Fruits as she thinks of that as the pinnacle of what they do.
Toby is less successful. This is not a big deal. If anything the gap between their careers has diminished as he's doing better. At what? He's not a salesman. Although I quite like the idea that he does something which sounds really flash and glamorous but is revered in his office for just being solid and unflaky. Advertising. Yeah, I think that could work. (that way when they're trying to score drugs people can say he should be able to get hold of it. I like the idea that near the end he finds some and decides whether to take it. I think he should be a creative but for crap things like insurance.
And then Mark what should he study? It needs to be a book subject so he's got plenty of time. Languages? No, because he would have had to go abroad. I kind of want him to be studying Goffman and Garfinkel but I wonder if it would put grit in the comedic wheels. Alternatively he could be an historian of a time which seems wonderfully irrelevant. I'd like the idea of him studying the first 500 years of London. Maybe not even the first 500 years. Up to Hogarth.
I like that so half the streets in London he knows by reputation because he can tell you what Samuel Pepys did there or even earlier. So yes, he's studying the rise of London (between 1530 and 1605 the population went from 50,000 to 225,000). That's as part of the History MA at UCL looking at the Public Sphere in British History (1476-1800). Lots of coffee houses and back of a pub publications.
Lois is obviously a consultant. I feel it should be rebranding. Her great achievements involve us no longer thinking of sweets by their old names. Makes her very unpopular with people who loved Opal Fruits as she thinks of that as the pinnacle of what they do.
Toby is less successful. This is not a big deal. If anything the gap between their careers has diminished as he's doing better. At what? He's not a salesman. Although I quite like the idea that he does something which sounds really flash and glamorous but is revered in his office for just being solid and unflaky. Advertising. Yeah, I think that could work. (that way when they're trying to score drugs people can say he should be able to get hold of it. I like the idea that near the end he finds some and decides whether to take it. I think he should be a creative but for crap things like insurance.
And then Mark what should he study? It needs to be a book subject so he's got plenty of time. Languages? No, because he would have had to go abroad. I kind of want him to be studying Goffman and Garfinkel but I wonder if it would put grit in the comedic wheels. Alternatively he could be an historian of a time which seems wonderfully irrelevant. I'd like the idea of him studying the first 500 years of London. Maybe not even the first 500 years. Up to Hogarth.
I like that so half the streets in London he knows by reputation because he can tell you what Samuel Pepys did there or even earlier. So yes, he's studying the rise of London (between 1530 and 1605 the population went from 50,000 to 225,000). That's as part of the History MA at UCL looking at the Public Sphere in British History (1476-1800). Lots of coffee houses and back of a pub publications.
The first party
Rather than going all tactical And asking myself what I want fr this scene (which was my first instinct) I'm just going to add elements and see if they add anything.
So Mark is:
Keen to converse (has some pre-prepared conversations, many of which are a little heavy for strangers. He feels like he's been shown how to do it when Seb shows up and produces a Jack story)
He's very deliberately not getting too drunk- three drinks all night and he insulated himself well before he came out.
He's spent a lot of time worrying about how he looks and so is constantly checking even though with Lois's steer he's wearing the most simple styles.
He's determined to strike out on his own, in a way few people are when they go to a party they don't know anyone at.
And how about Toby? He's aware of his responsibilities to take care of Mark and will naturally do it in his low key way. He's told Seb to come along as he knows he will make it more fun. He's confused and a little offended when Mark doesn't seem to want to hang with him. He gets quite drunk. And when he's drunk he gets quite merry and quite loving but a little boring.
Lois: the key thing about Lois is that she can switch it on. She goes to a party and she's all high fives and flirting. It's nit false. As mentioned previously she is a genuinely warm person. But it is a little bit of an effort, a projection. It is in some ways not that 'fun'. It's her friend's party but she doesn't know that many people there. And quite a lot in a 'oh yeah we met at the last one type way'. So she works it and wants to take Mark with her but he wants to do his own thing. And because she is always watching out for him she's slightly put off her stride.
Seb is brought in because the party might be boring. He's already drunk and he's brought plenty of booze. He tells a story about his mate Jack which Mark is in awe of. It highlights the fact that Mark has no anecdotes. He asks if it would be weird if he started telling it. You wouldn't be the first.
And the others: i think it should definitely be a girls party- lots of crudités, candles everywhere, petals in the bath. And there should be a lot of girls there. So that they are quite pleased to have Mark come up to
Them. They find him a little boring but quite sweet.
He takes that. "My chief aim was for them not to think of me as weird. I succeeded, baby steps."
So Mark is:
Keen to converse (has some pre-prepared conversations, many of which are a little heavy for strangers. He feels like he's been shown how to do it when Seb shows up and produces a Jack story)
He's very deliberately not getting too drunk- three drinks all night and he insulated himself well before he came out.
He's spent a lot of time worrying about how he looks and so is constantly checking even though with Lois's steer he's wearing the most simple styles.
He's determined to strike out on his own, in a way few people are when they go to a party they don't know anyone at.
And how about Toby? He's aware of his responsibilities to take care of Mark and will naturally do it in his low key way. He's told Seb to come along as he knows he will make it more fun. He's confused and a little offended when Mark doesn't seem to want to hang with him. He gets quite drunk. And when he's drunk he gets quite merry and quite loving but a little boring.
Lois: the key thing about Lois is that she can switch it on. She goes to a party and she's all high fives and flirting. It's nit false. As mentioned previously she is a genuinely warm person. But it is a little bit of an effort, a projection. It is in some ways not that 'fun'. It's her friend's party but she doesn't know that many people there. And quite a lot in a 'oh yeah we met at the last one type way'. So she works it and wants to take Mark with her but he wants to do his own thing. And because she is always watching out for him she's slightly put off her stride.
Seb is brought in because the party might be boring. He's already drunk and he's brought plenty of booze. He tells a story about his mate Jack which Mark is in awe of. It highlights the fact that Mark has no anecdotes. He asks if it would be weird if he started telling it. You wouldn't be the first.
And the others: i think it should definitely be a girls party- lots of crudités, candles everywhere, petals in the bath. And there should be a lot of girls there. So that they are quite pleased to have Mark come up to
Them. They find him a little boring but quite sweet.
He takes that. "My chief aim was for them not to think of me as weird. I succeeded, baby steps."
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
Qualities I admire
Something I'm very aware of right now is that much of the emotional core of the movie centres around Toby and Lois and I'm not sure I'm really sure if I like them so I'm going to try something a little random and see if it works.
It's a list of characteristics I am attracted to. I'm hoping I'll be able to then see which of these Toby and Lois have and build around them so that's it's firmed up that they're people you like. This is going to come across as staggeringly narcissistic as a lot of them are ones I think of myself as having but there you go. If everytime you looked in a mirror you saw me, you'd understand.
Warmth
Self mocking
Good listener
Curious
Witty
Fond of making a fool out of oneself
Articulate
Romantic
Cynical
Wry
Flirtatious
Crude
Considerate
Loyal
Spontaneous
Pro-active
Politically engaged
Open to new people
Comfortable in their own skin
Unafraid of big thoughts
Good at the art of conversation and hosting
Interested in the world
Tolerant
Non-judgemental
Not too tidy
Relaxed
Creative
Eco-conscious
Hygienic
Hard working
Driven
Inappropriate sometimes
Backs themseleves (and certainly doesn't do themselves down publically)
Generous
Astute
Passionate
Will doubtless add to this but do feel free to add more to the bottom.
It's a list of characteristics I am attracted to. I'm hoping I'll be able to then see which of these Toby and Lois have and build around them so that's it's firmed up that they're people you like. This is going to come across as staggeringly narcissistic as a lot of them are ones I think of myself as having but there you go. If everytime you looked in a mirror you saw me, you'd understand.
Warmth
Self mocking
Good listener
Curious
Witty
Fond of making a fool out of oneself
Articulate
Romantic
Cynical
Wry
Flirtatious
Crude
Considerate
Loyal
Spontaneous
Pro-active
Politically engaged
Open to new people
Comfortable in their own skin
Unafraid of big thoughts
Good at the art of conversation and hosting
Interested in the world
Tolerant
Non-judgemental
Not too tidy
Relaxed
Creative
Eco-conscious
Hygienic
Hard working
Driven
Inappropriate sometimes
Backs themseleves (and certainly doesn't do themselves down publically)
Generous
Astute
Passionate
Will doubtless add to this but do feel free to add more to the bottom.
Friends of Lois
The thing about Lois is that all her most impotant friends are a step ahead. And while she can't imagine doing the next step with anyone but Toby she's not totally sure she want to take it just yet. But Toby does and she'd rather go at a quicker pace then not stay in time with him.
Her friends suggest it's weird that he's leading it. Feel like their fellas needed to get something out of their system before they agreed to settle.
One of the things about Lois is she's a great friend. Listens, picks people up when they're down. Is truly warm. And one of the people she's devoting time to taking care of is someone whose husband has been banging someone. And she feels like she rushed him into settling. He'd been a late bloomer and then she'd come along and he hadn't got it out of his system.
That sparks something for Lois but the problem is she's generally a listener not a listened. Toby's the person who listens to her. And she can't talk to Toby about it so she doesn't run it past anyone just let's it make her go a bit demented.
So the people she parties with are not quite her best friends. They're work people. Younger than she is. Funner than her other friends. And she doesn't feel they see her as a particularly older (she's right although there is a little bit of admiration for how sorted her life seems to be, she's got the whole package but is still able to have fun). But every now and then she feels the gap.
So they should be people she feels she can tag along with on a night out and crucially people she would like to set Mark up with, but they're not bosom buddies. So they may sort of see what's going on but are not in a position to tell her.
Her friends suggest it's weird that he's leading it. Feel like their fellas needed to get something out of their system before they agreed to settle.
One of the things about Lois is she's a great friend. Listens, picks people up when they're down. Is truly warm. And one of the people she's devoting time to taking care of is someone whose husband has been banging someone. And she feels like she rushed him into settling. He'd been a late bloomer and then she'd come along and he hadn't got it out of his system.
That sparks something for Lois but the problem is she's generally a listener not a listened. Toby's the person who listens to her. And she can't talk to Toby about it so she doesn't run it past anyone just let's it make her go a bit demented.
So the people she parties with are not quite her best friends. They're work people. Younger than she is. Funner than her other friends. And she doesn't feel they see her as a particularly older (she's right although there is a little bit of admiration for how sorted her life seems to be, she's got the whole package but is still able to have fun). But every now and then she feels the gap.
So they should be people she feels she can tag along with on a night out and crucially people she would like to set Mark up with, but they're not bosom buddies. So they may sort of see what's going on but are not in a position to tell her.
Seb
He is essentially the same character from Thing about Jack (but Toby is not Toby (later Adam) from Jack. I just have a strangely limited number of names for my character)
The reason why I want him in this story is essentially two fold:
Firstly he is a party animal. He is the one who will get them into places where they wouldn't otherwise go. He can score them weed. And he genuinely seems to enjoy his hedonistic lifestyle.
Second he's a genuine confidant. Lois is just wrong. Too intense. Too interfering. And Toby is the opposite, he just seems so uninterested in so much of it Mark doesn't want to go there.
But perhaps Seb is important because he highlights what's good about Toby and Lois as individuals and as a couple. The point about Seb is he is fiercely loyal to both of them. Toby is a friend from school and he knows what a difference Lois has made to his life. And he sees why Toby is so good for Lois.
So if they do split up, Seb is going to be very determined to get them back together and will tell Mark that he was the reason they split and he's going to have to be part of the solution that puts them back together.
The reason why I want him in this story is essentially two fold:
Firstly he is a party animal. He is the one who will get them into places where they wouldn't otherwise go. He can score them weed. And he genuinely seems to enjoy his hedonistic lifestyle.
Second he's a genuine confidant. Lois is just wrong. Too intense. Too interfering. And Toby is the opposite, he just seems so uninterested in so much of it Mark doesn't want to go there.
But perhaps Seb is important because he highlights what's good about Toby and Lois as individuals and as a couple. The point about Seb is he is fiercely loyal to both of them. Toby is a friend from school and he knows what a difference Lois has made to his life. And he sees why Toby is so good for Lois.
So if they do split up, Seb is going to be very determined to get them back together and will tell Mark that he was the reason they split and he's going to have to be part of the solution that puts them back together.
Mark and Sex
One of the most important things about Mark's character is that he is not embarassed about his situation. He knows it's not his fault so he refuses to apologise for it. And that goes for never being in a relationship.
But a lack of fundamental shame in himself doesn't mean that he's not embarassed in the moment. He doesn't know what to do when confronted with overt come ons. Which his dancing does bring.
I think the key is to think how Toby and Lois react to this.
Lois has two thoughts: the first is, this guy is a catch I have to prime him to go out with one of my single friends. The second is this is something he needs help with, even if he doesn't show any inclination to do anything about it.
Toby's feeling is that he's doing an awful lot right now. Perhaps he's the first to recognise that a relapse isn't impossible. And he's also a romantic. He reckons the time to deal with this is the time he likes someone and Lois's boot camp won't help and is likely to cause problems.
I sense a 'how to get the girl' powerpoint coming.
But a lack of fundamental shame in himself doesn't mean that he's not embarassed in the moment. He doesn't know what to do when confronted with overt come ons. Which his dancing does bring.
I think the key is to think how Toby and Lois react to this.
Lois has two thoughts: the first is, this guy is a catch I have to prime him to go out with one of my single friends. The second is this is something he needs help with, even if he doesn't show any inclination to do anything about it.
Toby's feeling is that he's doing an awful lot right now. Perhaps he's the first to recognise that a relapse isn't impossible. And he's also a romantic. He reckons the time to deal with this is the time he likes someone and Lois's boot camp won't help and is likely to cause problems.
I sense a 'how to get the girl' powerpoint coming.
Clubbing
I really like the idea that Mark becomes well into his dancing. Now I must justify this so people don't go, that's because he's just another extension of you and you like dancing. Well write what you know and all that.
Fuzzy attempt at rationalisation follows:
It's such a visual way of expressing joy
I like the idea he should be quickly be better at something then Lois and Toby and indeed everyone is.
I think it can work as a tension point between Lois and Toby. Toby doesn't really like dancing and isn't up for clubbing but Lois loves it and uses Mark as a cover to make him go.
Most importantly I think it's a good way of bringing in the issue of sex. He dances with confidence and panache but doesn't know how to convert it. Well no, it's less a question of knowledge although he certainly is clueless. He doesn't want it. He needs the first time to be special. Quite right too.
Fuzzy attempt at rationalisation follows:
It's such a visual way of expressing joy
I like the idea he should be quickly be better at something then Lois and Toby and indeed everyone is.
I think it can work as a tension point between Lois and Toby. Toby doesn't really like dancing and isn't up for clubbing but Lois loves it and uses Mark as a cover to make him go.
Most importantly I think it's a good way of bringing in the issue of sex. He dances with confidence and panache but doesn't know how to convert it. Well no, it's less a question of knowledge although he certainly is clueless. He doesn't want it. He needs the first time to be special. Quite right too.
Lois's project plan for big fun
This really needs to be a powerpoint. I think I may actually make it and have it as an attachment to the script.
So it includes:
Drugs
Clubbing (cheese, drum n bass, indie)
Dressing up parties (can't have another party so pressgang Seb into having a party. Has to have a theme- Mark suggests illnesses)
Karaoke
Daytrip to Brighton (to break it up, also I feel this might be a good place for him to find a bit of romance for the first time)
Also, this can't be on the powerpoint but I think it would be great if Lois spots a weather forecast and organises for them all to go sledging in the snow. Just because it is about the funnest thing in the world. Fact.
So it includes:
Drugs
Clubbing (cheese, drum n bass, indie)
Dressing up parties (can't have another party so pressgang Seb into having a party. Has to have a theme- Mark suggests illnesses)
Karaoke
Daytrip to Brighton (to break it up, also I feel this might be a good place for him to find a bit of romance for the first time)
Also, this can't be on the powerpoint but I think it would be great if Lois spots a weather forecast and organises for them all to go sledging in the snow. Just because it is about the funnest thing in the world. Fact.
Relapse
All I wanted to say is that up until this point I hadn't actually thought of Mark getting a relapse. The point was he was better, end of. But it makes sense as a threat, so it should be there in the background. Something Toby is aware of and Lois thinks is patronising.
I wonder if it could be used as a reason to bring them all back together?
I wonder if it could be used as a reason to bring them all back together?
Some advanced fun notes
Hey,
Bunch of small posts based on scribbles I've been tapping onto my iPhone (yeah, that's right iPhones, blogs, this a totally 21st century writing process).
Basically I've been stuck on Advanced Fun for a while, partly because I think I've simply been convinced I need to come up with a plot when really i should just sit with the characters for a bit and see what happens. So here we go.
I think in order to find out what happens to Mark we need to know more about him. And to do htat I need to write more about him.
So let's look at the situations he's in.
I think at the first party he needs to actually drink too much because he reasons if he loses control over himself he'll just embarass Lois and Toby
Toby is curious by this and with a bit of prodding discovers that Mark has never been properly off his face and so decides to rectify this: the two of them and Seb go on a full on bender. They start with a champagne breakfast then into the pub for first orders and off they go. Toby has to be put to bed at 5pm but Mark and Seb keep going. Eventually Lois comes looking for them, upset with what they've done to Toby but ends up going out with them and lets her hair down in a way we wouldn't have guessed so far. Seb reveals that Lois used to be quite the wild one.
This makes Lois feel more energised about the project but also convinced that this is as much for Toby as it is for Mark.
She berated Toby but not sticking it out and begines her big plan of what they should be doing.
Bunch of small posts based on scribbles I've been tapping onto my iPhone (yeah, that's right iPhones, blogs, this a totally 21st century writing process).
Basically I've been stuck on Advanced Fun for a while, partly because I think I've simply been convinced I need to come up with a plot when really i should just sit with the characters for a bit and see what happens. So here we go.
I think in order to find out what happens to Mark we need to know more about him. And to do htat I need to write more about him.
So let's look at the situations he's in.
I think at the first party he needs to actually drink too much because he reasons if he loses control over himself he'll just embarass Lois and Toby
Toby is curious by this and with a bit of prodding discovers that Mark has never been properly off his face and so decides to rectify this: the two of them and Seb go on a full on bender. They start with a champagne breakfast then into the pub for first orders and off they go. Toby has to be put to bed at 5pm but Mark and Seb keep going. Eventually Lois comes looking for them, upset with what they've done to Toby but ends up going out with them and lets her hair down in a way we wouldn't have guessed so far. Seb reveals that Lois used to be quite the wild one.
This makes Lois feel more energised about the project but also convinced that this is as much for Toby as it is for Mark.
She berated Toby but not sticking it out and begines her big plan of what they should be doing.
Monday, 29 March 2010
A quick plea for help
This blog hasn't worked out quite like I expected.
This is mostly my fault. I haven't been nearly as productive as I hoped to be and perhaps more crucially I've had a tendency to write and write and then do a dump of the bits I'm happy with on here when it was really meant to be everything on a regular basis.
But I've been hoping for a couple more comments along the way. Queries, suggestions, demands for me to never darken their door with such unadulterated shit ever again. To be fair I've been writing scenes and it is hard to talk too hard about a specific scene without getting into proper micro 'that line doesn't hit' stuff and that's not really helpful stuff.
So I have some questions which I would welcome any thoughts on:
1) Sean and Jules- do you like them?
2) Do they feel consistent as people, do you have a sense of them as definite characters?
3) Does the bike accident feel false?
Next up: Advanced Fun
As you can see there isn't a lot to show for this. And the reason behind this is simple: it really needs a plot and I'm really struggling. But then I realised that's the whole point of the blog. I can write endless conversations, I don't need help with that. Plotting, story arc, character development. That whole story thing. That's where I really need to develop as a writer and need your help.
So here is where we are with Advanced Fun as a plot
Couple take in a lodger. Lodger has never gone out in his life but is now well enough to do so, so asks the couple to show him how to go out and have fun.
The girl thinks this is a brilliant idea but has to persuade the boy. The three of them try and complete a series of different 'out' activities. Girl becomes obsessed with getting the lodger a girlfriend, boy thinks it's a bad idea. The couple start to get on really badly and are also trying to compete for lodger's attention.
Eventually strains become too much and the couple actually split up. Lodger feels terrible and tries to put them back together. He can't help them but both girl and boy agree to (seperately) help him with his own girl troubles. They both go to the same party to see what they think of as solely their own handicraft and discover they're both behind it. They get back together.
There nothing in the second two paragraphs that I hold sacred. It could all go. So basically this is me abrogating my responsibilities. All thoughts will be entertained. In fact, let's make it a deal. Any comment made will be turned into its own post where I play around with it, try and put as many different stories around it. Even if that means it becoming a zombie movie or a porn film. So yeah- all thoughts welcome.
This is mostly my fault. I haven't been nearly as productive as I hoped to be and perhaps more crucially I've had a tendency to write and write and then do a dump of the bits I'm happy with on here when it was really meant to be everything on a regular basis.
But I've been hoping for a couple more comments along the way. Queries, suggestions, demands for me to never darken their door with such unadulterated shit ever again. To be fair I've been writing scenes and it is hard to talk too hard about a specific scene without getting into proper micro 'that line doesn't hit' stuff and that's not really helpful stuff.
So I have some questions which I would welcome any thoughts on:
1) Sean and Jules- do you like them?
2) Do they feel consistent as people, do you have a sense of them as definite characters?
3) Does the bike accident feel false?
Next up: Advanced Fun
As you can see there isn't a lot to show for this. And the reason behind this is simple: it really needs a plot and I'm really struggling. But then I realised that's the whole point of the blog. I can write endless conversations, I don't need help with that. Plotting, story arc, character development. That whole story thing. That's where I really need to develop as a writer and need your help.
So here is where we are with Advanced Fun as a plot
Couple take in a lodger. Lodger has never gone out in his life but is now well enough to do so, so asks the couple to show him how to go out and have fun.
The girl thinks this is a brilliant idea but has to persuade the boy. The three of them try and complete a series of different 'out' activities. Girl becomes obsessed with getting the lodger a girlfriend, boy thinks it's a bad idea. The couple start to get on really badly and are also trying to compete for lodger's attention.
Eventually strains become too much and the couple actually split up. Lodger feels terrible and tries to put them back together. He can't help them but both girl and boy agree to (seperately) help him with his own girl troubles. They both go to the same party to see what they think of as solely their own handicraft and discover they're both behind it. They get back together.
There nothing in the second two paragraphs that I hold sacred. It could all go. So basically this is me abrogating my responsibilities. All thoughts will be entertained. In fact, let's make it a deal. Any comment made will be turned into its own post where I play around with it, try and put as many different stories around it. Even if that means it becoming a zombie movie or a porn film. So yeah- all thoughts welcome.
Saturday, 27 March 2010
The rest of the movie
Needs writing obviously but I think I need to be a bit clearer on scenes and beats so would much appreciate it if people have anything they want to add to this.
Basically I see it as the following
On Trawangan, Sean hooks up with some fun loving Australians. He tells them about the guy with his own village and the others think that sounds rather cool and they all agree to go to Bali and check it out.
When they reach Ubud, Sean persuades them to come along to a Balinese monkey dance (a tourist attraction going on at the temple). It's an amazing experience as 50 balinese men makes rhytmic monkey noise while plays and music go on. As it goes on, Sean sees Jules across the other side. At the end she comes up to him and puts money in his hand for the room without saying anymore.
The next day Sean is woken by the Aussies who have found directions to the village and rented bikes so they all bike up there.
The narrator tells the story of the guy and the village as we see them bike up, meet the man and the village, give a donation and get ready to leave.
As they are on the way back, the Aussies suggest they race all the way back (it's mostly downhill). They're all very sporty and soon leave him far behind. He's lost in his own world and doesn't see a minivan coming past him and the van clatters into him knockng him over. The van stops and out of it comes Jules. She picks him up and puts him in the van.
When they get back to town Jules puts Sean to bed. Later after dark she comes round to see how he's doing. He's fine and persuades her to let him take her out for dinner. They find a cute little family run place off the tourist route and have a great final evening talking. They agree that there's no point acting on the attraction. Best to get on with their lives. They walk away without kissing.
The next morning Sean realises how stupid he's been and runs to get her contact details but her taxi to the airport has already left.
Back home in London, Sean is having brunch with some friends in a trendy little place. He looks at the calendar on the table and suddenly something comes back to him. This was the date she comes back to England. He says he has to leave.
Basically I see it as the following
On Trawangan, Sean hooks up with some fun loving Australians. He tells them about the guy with his own village and the others think that sounds rather cool and they all agree to go to Bali and check it out.
When they reach Ubud, Sean persuades them to come along to a Balinese monkey dance (a tourist attraction going on at the temple). It's an amazing experience as 50 balinese men makes rhytmic monkey noise while plays and music go on. As it goes on, Sean sees Jules across the other side. At the end she comes up to him and puts money in his hand for the room without saying anymore.
The next day Sean is woken by the Aussies who have found directions to the village and rented bikes so they all bike up there.
The narrator tells the story of the guy and the village as we see them bike up, meet the man and the village, give a donation and get ready to leave.
As they are on the way back, the Aussies suggest they race all the way back (it's mostly downhill). They're all very sporty and soon leave him far behind. He's lost in his own world and doesn't see a minivan coming past him and the van clatters into him knockng him over. The van stops and out of it comes Jules. She picks him up and puts him in the van.
When they get back to town Jules puts Sean to bed. Later after dark she comes round to see how he's doing. He's fine and persuades her to let him take her out for dinner. They find a cute little family run place off the tourist route and have a great final evening talking. They agree that there's no point acting on the attraction. Best to get on with their lives. They walk away without kissing.
The next morning Sean realises how stupid he's been and runs to get her contact details but her taxi to the airport has already left.
Back home in London, Sean is having brunch with some friends in a trendy little place. He looks at the calendar on the table and suddenly something comes back to him. This was the date she comes back to England. He says he has to leave.
Flashback on Trawangan
We find Sean on Trawangan. He's in an internet cafe and he has in front of him a facebook message from Lucy. We can see her photo and the first bit of the message which says 'Hope you're having an AWEsome time !!!xxx'. He profile pic is of her and two mates, out on the lash. She's pretty and is clearly having a lot of fun.
Sean looks at this, greatly frustrated. It then cuts back to a(nother) scene I'm struggling with in which while Jules and Sean are cooped up in a hovel in Sumbawa they have a conversation about the rules in relationships. It's not a long one but the point is that Jules has a very strong code about these things including four rules:
1) Never cheat
2) Never say 'I love you if you don't mean it'
3) When you know you don't want to be with them forever, end it.
4) Always dump someone to their face
After this he goes back to staring at the screen and there's another flashback. This is the one and only time we see either of their lives back home.
Int. Sean's Flat- Night
Sean has his backpack on the bed in front of him and laid out next to it everything he's taking with him.
He gets a PHONECALL and picks it up. It's from his mate Tom.
Sean: Hey mate
Tom: Hello fella, you all packed?
Sean: Yeah, pretty much.
Tom: Excellent, in which case it's time for a pint I'm just in your area actually so why don't you meet me at the Fox and Grapes?
Sean: Why don't you come here?
Tom: Cos I need a pint. Come on. It'll be your last British pint for three weeks.
Sean: Well if you put it like that.
Int. Fox and Grapes- Night
Sean walks in to the Fox and Grapes and to his surprise discovers Lucy, his girlfriend has put on a surprise party for him. There's a fair old gaggle of his friends and they all cheer as he comes in. He's surprised. Sincerely surprised. And a little embarassed. He's not really up for it.
Lucy comes running up and gives him a kiss.
Sean: I'm guessing this is your doing?
Lucy nods, very pleased with herself. Tom appears with a pint.
Tom: Here you go.
Sean nods and has a sip.
Int. Pub- Later
He's busy talking to people, Lucy is on his arm but he's not showing her a lot of attention.
Int. Pub- Later
He sees Jill, a platinum blonde with crazy dress sense, walking outside for a cigarette.
Sean (to Lucy): I'm just going to pop out for a bit of fresh air.
Lucy: You mean a cigarette?
Sean: Just the one I promise.
Lucy: Well, let me kiss you once before you do it.
She goes in for a big lunge but he's a bit embarassed and only half returns it. He makes his way outside.
Ext. Pub- Night
He comes outside and Jill is waiting for him with an arched experession on her face. She offers him a cigarette. He takes it but is so distracted that he puts it in his mouth without lighting it.
Jill: You don't actually want that do you?
Sean (suddenly snapping out of it): I just needed to step outside.
He hands her back the cigarette uncertainly. She takes it and lights it with the end of her last one.
Jill: Needed to step away?
Sean: I wouldn't have done this. If she's been the one going away. It wouldn't have crossed my mind.
Jill: She's been planning it for weeks.
Sean: I'm a shit boyfriend.
Jill: I seem to remember you being a model boyfriend once upon a time.
Sean: I'm not sure I was a good boyfriend.
Jules: Yo were. I, on the other hand...
Sean: But that's it. I did good things. But it was only because I was so afraid of losing you.
Jill: And you're not afraid of losing Lucy?
Sean doesn't answer.
Sean: I reckon this might be good. 3 weeks away. Probably discover how much I miss her.
Jill doesn't say anthing.
Sean: I should end it.
Jill: It's really not my place to say.
Sean: That didn't stop you with Beth.
Jill says nothing. Sean nods. He understands what he has to do. Decision's been made. Move on.
Sean: You really liked Beth didn't you?
Jill (smiling): I did. You really fucked that one up.
Sean (laughing): Yeah, you didn't see what I saw.
Int. Sean's flat- Night
Sean comes into the flat. With Lucy. She's very drunk and more than a little frisky. Sean is unresponsive, distracted but Lucy barely notices.
Lucy: I love the way it's your leaving do but I"m the one who's completely wasted while you (grabs him and pulls him close to her) are a model of responsible drinking.
Sean: I've got a flight in the morning.
Lucy nods and leans in for a kiss. Sean backs away.
Sean: Luce, this is going to sound so bad ...
Lucy looks at him with total terror. Sean looks at her but can't hold her gaze.
Sean: It's just the flight really is early tomorrow. Do you mind if we just go to bed?
Lucy would have been upset 30 seconds ago but the thoughts that had crossed her mind as Sean started his sentence were such that she's happy it just means no nookie.
Lucy: Oh no, of course. I understand.
She gives him a peck on the lips.
Lucy: Let's get you to bed.
Int. Bathroom
They're both brushing their teeth. Sean looks at himself in the mirror. Coward.
Back on Trawangan, Sean is still looking at the message.
It reads:
'Just checking that you haven't run under a bus!! It's raining and Polly's feeling down in the dumps so she's coming round for ice cream and chick flicks!
Miss you!!!! xxxx
Sean eventually replies with the following
'Hey,
Internet keeps crashing so can't write long message.
Not dead. Having an awesome time. Great beaches, great sites. Doug well.
Will tell you all when I get back.
Sean'
Sean looks at this, greatly frustrated. It then cuts back to a(nother) scene I'm struggling with in which while Jules and Sean are cooped up in a hovel in Sumbawa they have a conversation about the rules in relationships. It's not a long one but the point is that Jules has a very strong code about these things including four rules:
1) Never cheat
2) Never say 'I love you if you don't mean it'
3) When you know you don't want to be with them forever, end it.
4) Always dump someone to their face
After this he goes back to staring at the screen and there's another flashback. This is the one and only time we see either of their lives back home.
Int. Sean's Flat- Night
Sean has his backpack on the bed in front of him and laid out next to it everything he's taking with him.
He gets a PHONECALL and picks it up. It's from his mate Tom.
Sean: Hey mate
Tom: Hello fella, you all packed?
Sean: Yeah, pretty much.
Tom: Excellent, in which case it's time for a pint I'm just in your area actually so why don't you meet me at the Fox and Grapes?
Sean: Why don't you come here?
Tom: Cos I need a pint. Come on. It'll be your last British pint for three weeks.
Sean: Well if you put it like that.
Int. Fox and Grapes- Night
Sean walks in to the Fox and Grapes and to his surprise discovers Lucy, his girlfriend has put on a surprise party for him. There's a fair old gaggle of his friends and they all cheer as he comes in. He's surprised. Sincerely surprised. And a little embarassed. He's not really up for it.
Lucy comes running up and gives him a kiss.
Sean: I'm guessing this is your doing?
Lucy nods, very pleased with herself. Tom appears with a pint.
Tom: Here you go.
Sean nods and has a sip.
Int. Pub- Later
He's busy talking to people, Lucy is on his arm but he's not showing her a lot of attention.
Int. Pub- Later
He sees Jill, a platinum blonde with crazy dress sense, walking outside for a cigarette.
Sean (to Lucy): I'm just going to pop out for a bit of fresh air.
Lucy: You mean a cigarette?
Sean: Just the one I promise.
Lucy: Well, let me kiss you once before you do it.
She goes in for a big lunge but he's a bit embarassed and only half returns it. He makes his way outside.
Ext. Pub- Night
He comes outside and Jill is waiting for him with an arched experession on her face. She offers him a cigarette. He takes it but is so distracted that he puts it in his mouth without lighting it.
Jill: You don't actually want that do you?
Sean (suddenly snapping out of it): I just needed to step outside.
He hands her back the cigarette uncertainly. She takes it and lights it with the end of her last one.
Jill: Needed to step away?
Sean: I wouldn't have done this. If she's been the one going away. It wouldn't have crossed my mind.
Jill: She's been planning it for weeks.
Sean: I'm a shit boyfriend.
Jill: I seem to remember you being a model boyfriend once upon a time.
Sean: I'm not sure I was a good boyfriend.
Jules: Yo were. I, on the other hand...
Sean: But that's it. I did good things. But it was only because I was so afraid of losing you.
Jill: And you're not afraid of losing Lucy?
Sean doesn't answer.
Sean: I reckon this might be good. 3 weeks away. Probably discover how much I miss her.
Jill doesn't say anthing.
Sean: I should end it.
Jill: It's really not my place to say.
Sean: That didn't stop you with Beth.
Jill says nothing. Sean nods. He understands what he has to do. Decision's been made. Move on.
Sean: You really liked Beth didn't you?
Jill (smiling): I did. You really fucked that one up.
Sean (laughing): Yeah, you didn't see what I saw.
Int. Sean's flat- Night
Sean comes into the flat. With Lucy. She's very drunk and more than a little frisky. Sean is unresponsive, distracted but Lucy barely notices.
Lucy: I love the way it's your leaving do but I"m the one who's completely wasted while you (grabs him and pulls him close to her) are a model of responsible drinking.
Sean: I've got a flight in the morning.
Lucy nods and leans in for a kiss. Sean backs away.
Sean: Luce, this is going to sound so bad ...
Lucy looks at him with total terror. Sean looks at her but can't hold her gaze.
Sean: It's just the flight really is early tomorrow. Do you mind if we just go to bed?
Lucy would have been upset 30 seconds ago but the thoughts that had crossed her mind as Sean started his sentence were such that she's happy it just means no nookie.
Lucy: Oh no, of course. I understand.
She gives him a peck on the lips.
Lucy: Let's get you to bed.
Int. Bathroom
They're both brushing their teeth. Sean looks at himself in the mirror. Coward.
Back on Trawangan, Sean is still looking at the message.
It reads:
'Just checking that you haven't run under a bus!! It's raining and Polly's feeling down in the dumps so she's coming round for ice cream and chick flicks!
Miss you!!!! xxxx
Sean eventually replies with the following
'Hey,
Internet keeps crashing so can't write long message.
Not dead. Having an awesome time. Great beaches, great sites. Doug well.
Will tell you all when I get back.
Sean'
Gili Meno
So onwards. After taking a smart bus they find their way to Lombok and get on a small boat on its way to the Gilis.
Ext. Boat-Day
It's a truly glorious day and the two of them sit on the side of the boat, half in and half out of the shade of the roof. They're so close they're almost touching.
Sean: So, I was thinking...
Jules: Well, I'm glad you're open to new experiences.
Sean: Someone's feeling better.
Jules just leans back and basks in the sun. Her hand trails through the turquoise water and she beams a smile that only someone who's got their energy back could do.
Sean: So, I was thinking THAT... this boat is stopping off at Gili Meno before it gets to Gili Trawangan.
Jules: Trawnagan's the one with the diving right?
Sean: And it's the big party one.
Jules: So what happens on Meno?
Sean: Not a lot I don't think. It just looks like that.
He points to an island fast approaching with white sands surrounded by pristine turquoise sea. His eyebrows raise as if to say 'what do you think?'. Jules nods approval.
Ext. Beach
They get off the boat, they're the only ones that do and they don't say anything for a moment. There's no music, no noise except the sounds of the waves. They look at each other and smile. They're facing each other and for a moment it looks like they'll kiss but the moment's broken by a young boy.
Boy: Hello! What is your name?
Sean is the first to turn and he smiles at the boy.
Sean: Sean. And this is Jules. What's your name?
Boy: Shrinoto. Are you Italian?
Sean (surprised): No. We're English.
This is a good answer and Shrinoto smiles.
Shrinoto: Wayne Rooney!
Sean smiles. This is not the first time his nationality has elicited this reaction.
Sean: Yea. Are you a Manchester United fan?
Shrinoto shakes his head firmly.
Shrinoto: Manchester are a good team but in my heart I have only one team.
Sean: Who's that?
Shrinoto (in a cheer): West Bromwich Albion
With that he scampers off. Sean chuckles, but in a manly way. He turns to Jules and helps her put on her backpack.
Sean: Here. Shall we find ourselves a room.
They walk along the beach and people start to come up to them. They all know their names already and are keen to offer them rooms or food or things to buy. A friendly looking old man comes up to them.
Old man: Hello, Jules. Hello Sean. Would you like to have your own beachhut?
Jules: I think we'd love our own beach hut.
Ext. Beach hut
It's a simple thing but it's got an attached bathroom, a mosquito net and a double bed. And it's clean and truly on the beach without any other house too near.
Sean: How much?
Man: 30,000 Rupiah
Jules: We'll take it.
She's already pretty much inside and dumps her bag and quickly forages in it for a towel and shampoo.
Man: You pay tomorrow.
Sean: Ok thanks very much.
Sean goes inside.
Int. Beach hut
Jules is already in the bathroom. You can see her head and shoulders over the top of the door.
Sean: I don't think there'll be hot water
Jules: I don't care.
She then promptly screams as the cold water covers her body.
Sean: Still don't care?
Jules (defiant): No.
Sean watches her smiling head for a moment as she stubbornly sticks it under the cold water. Then he steps outside. Jules looks up and is a bit disappointed to see he's no longer there.
Ext. Beach hut
Jules comes out looking and feeling fresh as a daisy.
Jules: You having a shower?
Sean: Will you judge me if I eat something first.
Jules: Yes.
Sean smiles
Jules: I'm not joking, seriously. Shower.
Sean: Do I smell that bad?
Jules (giving a sniff): There's room for improvement and more importantly it's going to be dark soon and you'll get bitten alive in that shower. Go!
Sean, to his surprise, finds himself going inside.
Ext. Beachhut
Now it's Sean's turn to come out looking fresh and respectable.
Sean (in a butler's voice): Will this suffice, ma'am?
Jules (in a mock weary posh voice): Well, I suppose it will have to do.
She swings onto her feet and puts her arm through his.
Ext. Restaurant-Night
They're eating on the beach by candlelight. Jules has a whole grilled fish in front of her. Sean is Nasi Goreng.
Jules: It is weird.
Sean: It's not.
Jules takes another bite of her fish.
Jules (with pleasure): Mmm. Here, take a bite.
Sean (firmly): No thank-you.
Jules: What kind of freak would not like this?
Sean: I can think of 10 people off the top of my head who hate fish. It is in no way weird.
Jules: No. Not liking fish is sadly not an extremely rare phenomenon but that doesn't stop it being a weird one. This is fucking spectacular.
Sean: I'm not having this. You may think I'm wrong but if enough people share my opinion then it is not weird.
Jules: Large numbers of men in this country think that a moustache and mullet combo is attractive. Are you saying that's not weird?
Sean: I don't think it's a very original thought to suggest what makes someone beautiful might vary from culture to culture.
Jules: What do you think of Indonesian girls?
Sean: I'm sorry.
Jules: Do you think they're attractive?
Sean: Well not all of them obviously but yeah some are really pretty.
Jules: You like the way they dress.
Sean: I don't think it's weird if that's what you're asking. But unlike you, clearly, I've got no problems with cultural differences.
Jules: In some cultures women don't shave, anywhere.
Sean shrugs.
Jules: And the men like it.
Sean: Ok, that is weird.
They both laugh.
Jules: Point proven. Now have a bite.
Sean: No! You'll just have to put me in the corner with the hairy women.
Jules: There's a shrimp in your Nasi Goreng.
Sean: Seafood's ok. It's just fish.
Jules: Ok, that is actually weird.
Sean: Yep, I'll give you that one, Miss Food Stasi.
Jules: It's for your own good.
Sean: I appreciate the concern.
There's a pause.
Jules: I'm glad we got off here.
Sean: Me too.
But though he says it with a smile his eyes aren't smiling. Jules doesn't catch it.
Ext. Beach hut
The only light is the one from the porch of their hut. The only sound is the sea.
Jules stands at the top of the porch and turns around to Sean. She's slightly tipsy and very happy. She puts her arms on his shoulders and moves her head closer.
Jules: You really did seem like a dick when we first met.
Sean: And now?
She leans in and kisses him. Sean returns it and they have one long slow kiss until suddenly he breaks off. She's surprised by this and tries to bring him but he resists.
Jules: What?
Sean: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just...
Jules: What did I do?
Sean: Nothing. You're amazing. Utterly amazing. It's me. I'm a shit.
Jules starts to get an inkling of what he's about to say.
Sean: You know I said I was just coming of a relationship.
Jules nods, disappointment has swelled across her body but is about to bubble up into rage.
Sean: Well, I'm still coming out. I mean, it's over. In my head. In my heart. Before I left London I knew it was over.
Jules: But you didn't think you'd do anything as old fashioned as tell her about it.
Sean: It wasn't the right time.
Jules: No, I'm sure. 3 weeks later when she could have been getting on with her life but instead was waiting for you, wondering why you haven't been in contact. That sounds much more like the right time.
Sean: I'm not claiming that I've gone about this the right way.
Jules: Well that's ok then. As long as you know you're in the wrong, you can go on doing it. What's important is that you're honest.
Sean: Jules, I'm sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.
Jules: If that were really true, you'd have found a way not to.
She goes to the doorway, turns on the light and sees the double bed. She storms in grabs his backpack and dumps it outside. Sean look at her in disbelief but she shrugs her shoulders and close the door behind her.
Sean sits on the step and looks out into the dark towards the surf.
Ext. Hut- Morning
Jules comes out the hut with her backpack on. There's no sign of Sean. She's simultaneously relieved and worried.
She goes to the house down the beach where the old man who owns the hut lives.
Jules: Morning.
Old Man (surprised): Good morning.
Jules: I'd like to pay for the hut. I'm leaving.
Man: But Sean, he pay already.
Jules: Really? When?
Man: This morning. 7 o'clock.
Jules looks at the clock. It's 9:30.
Ext. Beach- Day
Jules is walking back to the point where the boat dropped them off yesterday. Shrinoto,the boy from yesterday, bounds up to her.
Shrinoto: Hello Jules!
Jules (not remembering his name): Oh, hello.
Shrinoto: You go to Trawangan, yes? Sean go two hours ago.
Jules: Sean went to Trawangan?
Shrinoto: Yes, next boat 10 minutes.
Jules: And next boat to Lombok?
Shrinoto (annoyed he hasn't been understood): Sean went to Trawanagan. Not Lombok.
Jules: I know sweetheart, but I want to go to Lombok.
Shrinoto understands but he's not happy.
Jules: When is the next boat to Lombok?
Shrinoto: Ten minutes.
Jules: From here?
Shrinoto nods. He runs off. Jules drops her backpack and sits on it. She take a deep breath in.
Ext. Boat-Day
It's a truly glorious day and the two of them sit on the side of the boat, half in and half out of the shade of the roof. They're so close they're almost touching.
Sean: So, I was thinking...
Jules: Well, I'm glad you're open to new experiences.
Sean: Someone's feeling better.
Jules just leans back and basks in the sun. Her hand trails through the turquoise water and she beams a smile that only someone who's got their energy back could do.
Sean: So, I was thinking THAT... this boat is stopping off at Gili Meno before it gets to Gili Trawangan.
Jules: Trawnagan's the one with the diving right?
Sean: And it's the big party one.
Jules: So what happens on Meno?
Sean: Not a lot I don't think. It just looks like that.
He points to an island fast approaching with white sands surrounded by pristine turquoise sea. His eyebrows raise as if to say 'what do you think?'. Jules nods approval.
Ext. Beach
They get off the boat, they're the only ones that do and they don't say anything for a moment. There's no music, no noise except the sounds of the waves. They look at each other and smile. They're facing each other and for a moment it looks like they'll kiss but the moment's broken by a young boy.
Boy: Hello! What is your name?
Sean is the first to turn and he smiles at the boy.
Sean: Sean. And this is Jules. What's your name?
Boy: Shrinoto. Are you Italian?
Sean (surprised): No. We're English.
This is a good answer and Shrinoto smiles.
Shrinoto: Wayne Rooney!
Sean smiles. This is not the first time his nationality has elicited this reaction.
Sean: Yea. Are you a Manchester United fan?
Shrinoto shakes his head firmly.
Shrinoto: Manchester are a good team but in my heart I have only one team.
Sean: Who's that?
Shrinoto (in a cheer): West Bromwich Albion
With that he scampers off. Sean chuckles, but in a manly way. He turns to Jules and helps her put on her backpack.
Sean: Here. Shall we find ourselves a room.
They walk along the beach and people start to come up to them. They all know their names already and are keen to offer them rooms or food or things to buy. A friendly looking old man comes up to them.
Old man: Hello, Jules. Hello Sean. Would you like to have your own beachhut?
Jules: I think we'd love our own beach hut.
Ext. Beach hut
It's a simple thing but it's got an attached bathroom, a mosquito net and a double bed. And it's clean and truly on the beach without any other house too near.
Sean: How much?
Man: 30,000 Rupiah
Jules: We'll take it.
She's already pretty much inside and dumps her bag and quickly forages in it for a towel and shampoo.
Man: You pay tomorrow.
Sean: Ok thanks very much.
Sean goes inside.
Int. Beach hut
Jules is already in the bathroom. You can see her head and shoulders over the top of the door.
Sean: I don't think there'll be hot water
Jules: I don't care.
She then promptly screams as the cold water covers her body.
Sean: Still don't care?
Jules (defiant): No.
Sean watches her smiling head for a moment as she stubbornly sticks it under the cold water. Then he steps outside. Jules looks up and is a bit disappointed to see he's no longer there.
Ext. Beach hut
Jules comes out looking and feeling fresh as a daisy.
Jules: You having a shower?
Sean: Will you judge me if I eat something first.
Jules: Yes.
Sean smiles
Jules: I'm not joking, seriously. Shower.
Sean: Do I smell that bad?
Jules (giving a sniff): There's room for improvement and more importantly it's going to be dark soon and you'll get bitten alive in that shower. Go!
Sean, to his surprise, finds himself going inside.
Ext. Beachhut
Now it's Sean's turn to come out looking fresh and respectable.
Sean (in a butler's voice): Will this suffice, ma'am?
Jules (in a mock weary posh voice): Well, I suppose it will have to do.
She swings onto her feet and puts her arm through his.
Ext. Restaurant-Night
They're eating on the beach by candlelight. Jules has a whole grilled fish in front of her. Sean is Nasi Goreng.
Jules: It is weird.
Sean: It's not.
Jules takes another bite of her fish.
Jules (with pleasure): Mmm. Here, take a bite.
Sean (firmly): No thank-you.
Jules: What kind of freak would not like this?
Sean: I can think of 10 people off the top of my head who hate fish. It is in no way weird.
Jules: No. Not liking fish is sadly not an extremely rare phenomenon but that doesn't stop it being a weird one. This is fucking spectacular.
Sean: I'm not having this. You may think I'm wrong but if enough people share my opinion then it is not weird.
Jules: Large numbers of men in this country think that a moustache and mullet combo is attractive. Are you saying that's not weird?
Sean: I don't think it's a very original thought to suggest what makes someone beautiful might vary from culture to culture.
Jules: What do you think of Indonesian girls?
Sean: I'm sorry.
Jules: Do you think they're attractive?
Sean: Well not all of them obviously but yeah some are really pretty.
Jules: You like the way they dress.
Sean: I don't think it's weird if that's what you're asking. But unlike you, clearly, I've got no problems with cultural differences.
Jules: In some cultures women don't shave, anywhere.
Sean shrugs.
Jules: And the men like it.
Sean: Ok, that is weird.
They both laugh.
Jules: Point proven. Now have a bite.
Sean: No! You'll just have to put me in the corner with the hairy women.
Jules: There's a shrimp in your Nasi Goreng.
Sean: Seafood's ok. It's just fish.
Jules: Ok, that is actually weird.
Sean: Yep, I'll give you that one, Miss Food Stasi.
Jules: It's for your own good.
Sean: I appreciate the concern.
There's a pause.
Jules: I'm glad we got off here.
Sean: Me too.
But though he says it with a smile his eyes aren't smiling. Jules doesn't catch it.
Ext. Beach hut
The only light is the one from the porch of their hut. The only sound is the sea.
Jules stands at the top of the porch and turns around to Sean. She's slightly tipsy and very happy. She puts her arms on his shoulders and moves her head closer.
Jules: You really did seem like a dick when we first met.
Sean: And now?
She leans in and kisses him. Sean returns it and they have one long slow kiss until suddenly he breaks off. She's surprised by this and tries to bring him but he resists.
Jules: What?
Sean: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just...
Jules: What did I do?
Sean: Nothing. You're amazing. Utterly amazing. It's me. I'm a shit.
Jules starts to get an inkling of what he's about to say.
Sean: You know I said I was just coming of a relationship.
Jules nods, disappointment has swelled across her body but is about to bubble up into rage.
Sean: Well, I'm still coming out. I mean, it's over. In my head. In my heart. Before I left London I knew it was over.
Jules: But you didn't think you'd do anything as old fashioned as tell her about it.
Sean: It wasn't the right time.
Jules: No, I'm sure. 3 weeks later when she could have been getting on with her life but instead was waiting for you, wondering why you haven't been in contact. That sounds much more like the right time.
Sean: I'm not claiming that I've gone about this the right way.
Jules: Well that's ok then. As long as you know you're in the wrong, you can go on doing it. What's important is that you're honest.
Sean: Jules, I'm sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.
Jules: If that were really true, you'd have found a way not to.
She goes to the doorway, turns on the light and sees the double bed. She storms in grabs his backpack and dumps it outside. Sean look at her in disbelief but she shrugs her shoulders and close the door behind her.
Sean sits on the step and looks out into the dark towards the surf.
Ext. Hut- Morning
Jules comes out the hut with her backpack on. There's no sign of Sean. She's simultaneously relieved and worried.
She goes to the house down the beach where the old man who owns the hut lives.
Jules: Morning.
Old Man (surprised): Good morning.
Jules: I'd like to pay for the hut. I'm leaving.
Man: But Sean, he pay already.
Jules: Really? When?
Man: This morning. 7 o'clock.
Jules looks at the clock. It's 9:30.
Ext. Beach- Day
Jules is walking back to the point where the boat dropped them off yesterday. Shrinoto,the boy from yesterday, bounds up to her.
Shrinoto: Hello Jules!
Jules (not remembering his name): Oh, hello.
Shrinoto: You go to Trawangan, yes? Sean go two hours ago.
Jules: Sean went to Trawangan?
Shrinoto: Yes, next boat 10 minutes.
Jules: And next boat to Lombok?
Shrinoto (annoyed he hasn't been understood): Sean went to Trawanagan. Not Lombok.
Jules: I know sweetheart, but I want to go to Lombok.
Shrinoto understands but he's not happy.
Jules: When is the next boat to Lombok?
Shrinoto: Ten minutes.
Jules: From here?
Shrinoto nods. He runs off. Jules drops her backpack and sits on it. She take a deep breath in.
Stop gap
After the boat Jules and Sean get on a bus but Jules has eaten something they shouldn't have and she has to get off the bus and puke her guts out. She's in no fit state to travel on so they have to get their bags off the bus and stay there. The only hotel is horrible. Fly infested, smelly, dirty. And she's really not feeling great. But Sean takes care of her and after a day she's good enough to carry on. They get a posh bus to Lombok because she needs to treat herself.
I am struggling to dramatise what I want to happen. I don't want to spend too long here but I need one scene in the hotel to show how good Sean is to her. I am also planning to put in a story similar to the boatman story about a boy who helps them get towels and water.
I don't have an idea for this and will have to do some research. It's probably going to be about corruption. The final one will be on Bali and will be about the Bali bomb.
I am struggling to dramatise what I want to happen. I don't want to spend too long here but I need one scene in the hotel to show how good Sean is to her. I am also planning to put in a story similar to the boatman story about a boy who helps them get towels and water.
I don't have an idea for this and will have to do some research. It's probably going to be about corruption. The final one will be on Bali and will be about the Bali bomb.
Step back a second (Dinner in Flores)
I'm rather unhelpfully skipping back to dinner before they get on the boat. This is a scene I'm not very happy with- on one level it's easy because all I want is for them to just get on but there is information and ideas I want to slip in so some of it clunks quite badly so comments much appreciated.
Ext. Restaurant-Night
Sean meets Jules outside her hotel restaurant. It's a pretty little courtyard, nicely lit and decorated with hanging baskets. There are a couple other groups of foreigners about. They sit down at a table and the waiter gives them menu. They examine them. There's a slight silence as they think what to say and so they read the menu instead.
Sean: See, why is it that everywhere in the world restaurants that want to appeal to backpackers serve banana pancakes?
Jules: You not a fan?
Sean: No, I love them. I'm probably going to have two. But they're clearly served with the western pallette on the mind and I have never seen one in the west. So how does every part of the world know, you see smelly hairy white people- get them a banana pancake.
Jules: It's not served everywhere.
Sean: Everywhere I've been.
Jules: Which is where?
Sean: Sri Lanka, Egypt, South America obviously.
Jules: That's a lot of banana pancakes.
Sean: They're always good. Where've you been apart from Chile?
Jules: Nowhere really. I mean, Europe. But yeah that's what this trip is about, seeing the world.
Sean: How long you've got?
Jules: Six months. I was offered six months unpaid leave while they try and sort out their books.
Sean: Nice. You doing the whole thing on your own?
Jules: I've just been in Australia for my friend's wedding so spent some time with my friends then but otherwise, nope no one interested.
Sean: It's not easy to get the holiday.
Jules: Well actually they did get it. But they'd rather go on holiday with boyfriends.
Sean: Couples, I swear they're tearing our communities apart.
Jules laughs
Sean: No, really. Everyone used to do things in groups and so people were always included. It was actually true that more the merrier was. Bring people in, it will be great. But then everyone starts to find an opposite half and suddenly, oh 'Do we have to do things as group?' 'Do we have to meet new people?'. I tell you it breaks down social cohesion.
Jules: So people should split up for the good of the community?
Sean: Pretty much. I do seriously think being in a couple encourages people to become insular. They make people think they've met enough people, they've been social enough- now they get to be boring bastards who sit at home on a Friday night and leave a party to get home for midnight.
Jules: You really don't like couples, do you?
Sean: I'm just coming out of a relationship.
Jules: Ah, so you're revelling your freedom.
Sean: Actually I felt pretty free at the time- that was the problem. I didn't feel any obligation to her.
Jules: Being in a relationship isn't about being obligated.
Sean: No but... I booked this holiday without ever once thinking 'oh, maybe I should go on holiday with Lucy instead.'
Jules: How long were you together?
Sean: We started going out in August. So it's not... it's long enough to know it's not working but not like I've wasted years of her life.
Jules: Or of yours.
Sean: Well that was the point- it wasn't a waste of mine. I was doing what I wanted.
Jules: You're not coming across as a very nice guy in this.
Sean: I haven't been.
The waiter comes up to them.
Waiter: Are you ready to order?
Jules: Nasi Goreng please.
Sean (in Indonesian): Can I get the grilled fish (to Jules) Do you want to share a Big bottle of Bintang (beer).
Jules. No (beat) I want my own.
Sean smiles (to the waiter, in Indonesian): Two big Bintangs, please.
Jules: You speak Indonesian?
Sean: I know how to order a beer. I picked up some basics while I was in the village the bus picked me up at.
Jules: What were you doing there?
Sean: Getting in the way of my mate's work. Yeah, there wasn't really anything for me to do. So I played a lot of football with the kids. But it was cool. Got to see Indonesian village life.
Jules: And what was it like?
Sean: Like villages the world over, pretty boring.
Jules: Ah, a city snob.
Sean: I've got nothing against towns. I'm sure Harrogate's a great place to live.
Jules: Yeah, my parents really enjoy it.
Sean: You?
Jules: Moved to East London.
They both smile. The waiter arrives with the two large bottle of Bintang.
Sean (in Indonesian): Thank-you
Jules: How do you say thank-you?
Sean: Kam-sam-me-da. I'm not sure the accent is perfect but they seem to know what I'm saying.
Bob Marley comes on the radio. Sean makes a slightly embarassing laugh. Jules can't help laughing at this laugh.
Jules: What was that?
Sean: It was a manly and highly dignified laugh. I'm not sure what you find so funny.
Jules: But to what do we owe the pleasure of this deeply manly and highly dignified squeal.
Sean doesn't know how to respond.
Sean (eventually); I'd rather not say. It's been built up too much.
Jules: Well don't blame me for that, blame your voicebox.
Sean smiles, hoping to quietly drop it but Jules isn't going anywhere.
Jules: I'm waiting.
Sean: It's an in joke between me and some friends. It won't be funny.
Jules: See, that's the glory of it. Now you've gone all coy I'm in a win-win situation. If it is funny, then that's great. I get to laugh. If it's not that's even better because I still get to laugh, but at you.
Sean: I'm not sure we know each other well enough for you to take such delight in mocking me.
Jules: Think of it as the quick intimacy of two strangers spending a night together. (quickly) I mean evening.
Jules blushes in a way that glows through her suburn. Sean smiles at this reversal of fortunes.
Sean (mock serious): Look, I'm really flattered but I'm afraid I don't hook up with anyone who I suspect of not remembering my name.
Jules (offended he would think she's forgotten): Sean!
As she says it, she realises she's fallen for his trap.
Jules: Not that I'm in anyway making a proposition- ok?
Sean: Glad to hear it, because to be honest, you've really got to work on your seduction technique. I mean the plying me with booze is a good first step, but the mocking someone's deeply manly laugh... you're meant to be massaging my ego.
Jules: I think your ego's big enough to cope.
Sean: Again with the insults. And, anyway, you don't massage something to make it bigger. Unless... ah... I hadn't realised the male ego was like another part of the male anatomy.
Jules: Yes, although sadly this one has no problem staying large. Got it backwards there I think.
Sean: What can I say? The male: fundamentally a bit crap.
Jules: I'll drink to that.
Sean: Um, I have my own proposition. It's not as exciting as yours but, where are you headed next?
Jules: I was thinking of going to these island off Lombok.
Sean (smiling): The Gilis
Jules: Yeah.
Sean: What would you say to a travelling companion?
Jules: I"m not against the idea. Why do you know someone who's headed that way?
Sean looks disappointed for a moment until he realises she's teasing him. He smiles and she cackles in triumph.
Sean: So, I think there's a ferry tomorrow morning to Sumbawa and we can get a bus from there.
Jules: Sounds like a plan.
Ext. Restaurant-Night
Sean meets Jules outside her hotel restaurant. It's a pretty little courtyard, nicely lit and decorated with hanging baskets. There are a couple other groups of foreigners about. They sit down at a table and the waiter gives them menu. They examine them. There's a slight silence as they think what to say and so they read the menu instead.
Sean: See, why is it that everywhere in the world restaurants that want to appeal to backpackers serve banana pancakes?
Jules: You not a fan?
Sean: No, I love them. I'm probably going to have two. But they're clearly served with the western pallette on the mind and I have never seen one in the west. So how does every part of the world know, you see smelly hairy white people- get them a banana pancake.
Jules: It's not served everywhere.
Sean: Everywhere I've been.
Jules: Which is where?
Sean: Sri Lanka, Egypt, South America obviously.
Jules: That's a lot of banana pancakes.
Sean: They're always good. Where've you been apart from Chile?
Jules: Nowhere really. I mean, Europe. But yeah that's what this trip is about, seeing the world.
Sean: How long you've got?
Jules: Six months. I was offered six months unpaid leave while they try and sort out their books.
Sean: Nice. You doing the whole thing on your own?
Jules: I've just been in Australia for my friend's wedding so spent some time with my friends then but otherwise, nope no one interested.
Sean: It's not easy to get the holiday.
Jules: Well actually they did get it. But they'd rather go on holiday with boyfriends.
Sean: Couples, I swear they're tearing our communities apart.
Jules laughs
Sean: No, really. Everyone used to do things in groups and so people were always included. It was actually true that more the merrier was. Bring people in, it will be great. But then everyone starts to find an opposite half and suddenly, oh 'Do we have to do things as group?' 'Do we have to meet new people?'. I tell you it breaks down social cohesion.
Jules: So people should split up for the good of the community?
Sean: Pretty much. I do seriously think being in a couple encourages people to become insular. They make people think they've met enough people, they've been social enough- now they get to be boring bastards who sit at home on a Friday night and leave a party to get home for midnight.
Jules: You really don't like couples, do you?
Sean: I'm just coming out of a relationship.
Jules: Ah, so you're revelling your freedom.
Sean: Actually I felt pretty free at the time- that was the problem. I didn't feel any obligation to her.
Jules: Being in a relationship isn't about being obligated.
Sean: No but... I booked this holiday without ever once thinking 'oh, maybe I should go on holiday with Lucy instead.'
Jules: How long were you together?
Sean: We started going out in August. So it's not... it's long enough to know it's not working but not like I've wasted years of her life.
Jules: Or of yours.
Sean: Well that was the point- it wasn't a waste of mine. I was doing what I wanted.
Jules: You're not coming across as a very nice guy in this.
Sean: I haven't been.
The waiter comes up to them.
Waiter: Are you ready to order?
Jules: Nasi Goreng please.
Sean (in Indonesian): Can I get the grilled fish (to Jules) Do you want to share a Big bottle of Bintang (beer).
Jules. No (beat) I want my own.
Sean smiles (to the waiter, in Indonesian): Two big Bintangs, please.
Jules: You speak Indonesian?
Sean: I know how to order a beer. I picked up some basics while I was in the village the bus picked me up at.
Jules: What were you doing there?
Sean: Getting in the way of my mate's work. Yeah, there wasn't really anything for me to do. So I played a lot of football with the kids. But it was cool. Got to see Indonesian village life.
Jules: And what was it like?
Sean: Like villages the world over, pretty boring.
Jules: Ah, a city snob.
Sean: I've got nothing against towns. I'm sure Harrogate's a great place to live.
Jules: Yeah, my parents really enjoy it.
Sean: You?
Jules: Moved to East London.
They both smile. The waiter arrives with the two large bottle of Bintang.
Sean (in Indonesian): Thank-you
Jules: How do you say thank-you?
Sean: Kam-sam-me-da. I'm not sure the accent is perfect but they seem to know what I'm saying.
Bob Marley comes on the radio. Sean makes a slightly embarassing laugh. Jules can't help laughing at this laugh.
Jules: What was that?
Sean: It was a manly and highly dignified laugh. I'm not sure what you find so funny.
Jules: But to what do we owe the pleasure of this deeply manly and highly dignified squeal.
Sean doesn't know how to respond.
Sean (eventually); I'd rather not say. It's been built up too much.
Jules: Well don't blame me for that, blame your voicebox.
Sean smiles, hoping to quietly drop it but Jules isn't going anywhere.
Jules: I'm waiting.
Sean: It's an in joke between me and some friends. It won't be funny.
Jules: See, that's the glory of it. Now you've gone all coy I'm in a win-win situation. If it is funny, then that's great. I get to laugh. If it's not that's even better because I still get to laugh, but at you.
Sean: I'm not sure we know each other well enough for you to take such delight in mocking me.
Jules: Think of it as the quick intimacy of two strangers spending a night together. (quickly) I mean evening.
Jules blushes in a way that glows through her suburn. Sean smiles at this reversal of fortunes.
Sean (mock serious): Look, I'm really flattered but I'm afraid I don't hook up with anyone who I suspect of not remembering my name.
Jules (offended he would think she's forgotten): Sean!
As she says it, she realises she's fallen for his trap.
Jules: Not that I'm in anyway making a proposition- ok?
Sean: Glad to hear it, because to be honest, you've really got to work on your seduction technique. I mean the plying me with booze is a good first step, but the mocking someone's deeply manly laugh... you're meant to be massaging my ego.
Jules: I think your ego's big enough to cope.
Sean: Again with the insults. And, anyway, you don't massage something to make it bigger. Unless... ah... I hadn't realised the male ego was like another part of the male anatomy.
Jules: Yes, although sadly this one has no problem staying large. Got it backwards there I think.
Sean: What can I say? The male: fundamentally a bit crap.
Jules: I'll drink to that.
Sean: Um, I have my own proposition. It's not as exciting as yours but, where are you headed next?
Jules: I was thinking of going to these island off Lombok.
Sean (smiling): The Gilis
Jules: Yeah.
Sean: What would you say to a travelling companion?
Jules: I"m not against the idea. Why do you know someone who's headed that way?
Sean looks disappointed for a moment until he realises she's teasing him. He smiles and she cackles in triumph.
Sean: So, I think there's a ferry tomorrow morning to Sumbawa and we can get a bus from there.
Jules: Sounds like a plan.
Trip to Sumbawa
After the sun sets on the boat, Jules and Sean agree to a game of Shithead with this Ginger german (whose name they never catch).
Ginger has a torch which turns into a light and they gather round it, sitting on the floor as he deals the cards. Sean and Ginger play with the automatic air of people who've played this too many times to have to consider what their next move is. Jules, by contrast, is needing to concentrate and so is not able to participate in the conversation as much.
Sean: So is there 3 months worth of stuff to see in Indonesia?
Ginger: Oh shit, there's 3 years worth of stuff. I mean from one end of Indonesia to the other is the same as from Ireland to Iran. This place is huge.
Sean: And yet everyone thinks it's an island somewhere near Bali
Ginger: But Bali, yeah that's the best. I'm going back there now.
Sean: To do what?
Ginger (leaning over conspiratorially): Well, I'm going to see a man.
Sean: An Indonesian?
Ginger: No, he's British. Scottish.
Jules: Where did you meet him?
Ginger: I've never met him.
Jules and Sean look confused.
Ginger: But I've heard of him. Yeah, sure, he is famous. No, there is another word. Unfamous?
Jules: Infamous.
Ginger: Yeah, right. Infamous. This Scottish guy, he went searching for the poorest village in Indonesia.
Sean: There's a competition you don't want to win.
Ginger: No, but you do. Because the winner- he goes up to them and says 'I will stop you being poor but, but you have to do what I say. And he finds this village at the top of the mountain in Bali, which is a rich island, but they are the poorest people in Indonesia. So he goes to them and they say yes. So he is like a king there. But a good king. They have a school and sanitation and better agriculture.
Jules: He's a benign dictator.
Ginger: Dictator? No. He's very good for the village.
Jules: No, that's what I'm saying. He's benign- he's a kind dictator.
Ginger: Exactly so. But I think he is a crazy man, you know. So I am going to visit the village and see for myself.
Sean: Do they allow visitors?
Ginger: Yeah, I think so. The guys who told me about it, they had visited. I think you have to make a donation- for the school. I don't know how much I can give though you know? I'm very poor right now.
Sean looks at Jules and tries to hide a smirk. Jules is biting her lip and looks at Sean. Ginger picks up a lot of cards.
Ginger: Oh, I think I am going to be the shithead.
Sean: So where is it on Bali?
Ginger: I don't know exactly. Apparently if you go to Ubud you can find people who can take you there. It is at the top of the mountain where the land is very bad for growing. And you know before he came along no one in the village could do arithmetic. So they would go to market and all the people would steal from them because they did not know how much it should be.
Ginger has a torch which turns into a light and they gather round it, sitting on the floor as he deals the cards. Sean and Ginger play with the automatic air of people who've played this too many times to have to consider what their next move is. Jules, by contrast, is needing to concentrate and so is not able to participate in the conversation as much.
Sean: So is there 3 months worth of stuff to see in Indonesia?
Ginger: Oh shit, there's 3 years worth of stuff. I mean from one end of Indonesia to the other is the same as from Ireland to Iran. This place is huge.
Sean: And yet everyone thinks it's an island somewhere near Bali
Ginger: But Bali, yeah that's the best. I'm going back there now.
Sean: To do what?
Ginger (leaning over conspiratorially): Well, I'm going to see a man.
Sean: An Indonesian?
Ginger: No, he's British. Scottish.
Jules: Where did you meet him?
Ginger: I've never met him.
Jules and Sean look confused.
Ginger: But I've heard of him. Yeah, sure, he is famous. No, there is another word. Unfamous?
Jules: Infamous.
Ginger: Yeah, right. Infamous. This Scottish guy, he went searching for the poorest village in Indonesia.
Sean: There's a competition you don't want to win.
Ginger: No, but you do. Because the winner- he goes up to them and says 'I will stop you being poor but, but you have to do what I say. And he finds this village at the top of the mountain in Bali, which is a rich island, but they are the poorest people in Indonesia. So he goes to them and they say yes. So he is like a king there. But a good king. They have a school and sanitation and better agriculture.
Jules: He's a benign dictator.
Ginger: Dictator? No. He's very good for the village.
Jules: No, that's what I'm saying. He's benign- he's a kind dictator.
Ginger: Exactly so. But I think he is a crazy man, you know. So I am going to visit the village and see for myself.
Sean: Do they allow visitors?
Ginger: Yeah, I think so. The guys who told me about it, they had visited. I think you have to make a donation- for the school. I don't know how much I can give though you know? I'm very poor right now.
Sean looks at Jules and tries to hide a smirk. Jules is biting her lip and looks at Sean. Ginger picks up a lot of cards.
Ginger: Oh, I think I am going to be the shithead.
Sean: So where is it on Bali?
Ginger: I don't know exactly. Apparently if you go to Ubud you can find people who can take you there. It is at the top of the mountain where the land is very bad for growing. And you know before he came along no one in the village could do arithmetic. So they would go to market and all the people would steal from them because they did not know how much it should be.
Sunday, 7 March 2010
Trip to Sumbawa
After bonding on the boat back from Komodo and a boozy dinner where they had actually opened up to each other, Jules and Sean agree to travel together on to the Gilis.
They board a large ferry taking people across to Sumbawa, and having waited six hours, it's finally arrived. Having got onboard and let it take off, they get bored and decide to explore the boat.
At the far end of the boat, there's a little balcony. On it are a young Indonesia couple, quietly holding hands and a Westerner, with a very full head of gingery curls taking pictures of the sunset with a massive camera.
It really is a beautiful sunset, there's no denying it. But there's something discordinately frenetic about how this westerner is constantly snapping. A huge amount of energy is being wasted trying to capture the serene beauty of the fire red reflections of the sun on the water.
Eventually it's too much for Jules.
Jules: Hi, would you like me to take a picture with you in it?
The westerner looks genuinely surprised at this offer: as if it had never occurred to him.
Ginger (with a thick german accent): Yeah, sure. Why not?
He poses in a rather forthright manner as Jules takes one. She shows it to him.
Ginger: Oh, cool. Do you want me to take one of you guys.
This is the first time the two of them have released people must think they're a couple. They look at each other hesitatingly but quite keen.
Together: Sure, why not?
They both hand over cameras.
Ginger: Oh, you have two cameras?
They stand on the back of the boat. At the last moment Sean put his arm around Jules. The German takes the picture and show it to them. It's pretty good. They don't look like two people who met less than two days ago.
The German now starts clicking away again with his own camera.
Jules: You take a lot of photos.
Ginger: I can't get the photo that, um, steals? the beauty.
Jules: Captures. I don't reckon you can. I reckon you take one to remind you that it existed and then you just soak it up. Use your eyes and your senses.
The sun's nearly gone but they just lean over the edge staring out at the darkening sky. Sean casts a glance at Jules and looks away when she moves her head towards him. Now it's her turn to to look at him.
They board a large ferry taking people across to Sumbawa, and having waited six hours, it's finally arrived. Having got onboard and let it take off, they get bored and decide to explore the boat.
At the far end of the boat, there's a little balcony. On it are a young Indonesia couple, quietly holding hands and a Westerner, with a very full head of gingery curls taking pictures of the sunset with a massive camera.
It really is a beautiful sunset, there's no denying it. But there's something discordinately frenetic about how this westerner is constantly snapping. A huge amount of energy is being wasted trying to capture the serene beauty of the fire red reflections of the sun on the water.
Eventually it's too much for Jules.
Jules: Hi, would you like me to take a picture with you in it?
The westerner looks genuinely surprised at this offer: as if it had never occurred to him.
Ginger (with a thick german accent): Yeah, sure. Why not?
He poses in a rather forthright manner as Jules takes one. She shows it to him.
Ginger: Oh, cool. Do you want me to take one of you guys.
This is the first time the two of them have released people must think they're a couple. They look at each other hesitatingly but quite keen.
Together: Sure, why not?
They both hand over cameras.
Ginger: Oh, you have two cameras?
They stand on the back of the boat. At the last moment Sean put his arm around Jules. The German takes the picture and show it to them. It's pretty good. They don't look like two people who met less than two days ago.
The German now starts clicking away again with his own camera.
Jules: You take a lot of photos.
Ginger: I can't get the photo that, um, steals? the beauty.
Jules: Captures. I don't reckon you can. I reckon you take one to remind you that it existed and then you just soak it up. Use your eyes and your senses.
The sun's nearly gone but they just lean over the edge staring out at the darkening sky. Sean casts a glance at Jules and looks away when she moves her head towards him. Now it's her turn to to look at him.
Boat back
After the narration and the trip to the dragons all the tourists are sitting in silence looking at the gorgeous sunset. Jules comes up to Sean and whispers quietly in English.
Jules: How much did you give him?
Sean: Enough
Jules: How much, I'll go halves.
Sean: You don't have to do that.
Jules: I do. If I can't convince those boneheads that students or not, they're a hell of a lot richer than the people they're refusing to tip then I can at least pay part.
Sean: Your part isn't half.
Jules: And your part isn't whole. Stop being such a martyr just because of those brats.
Sean: Hey, we've all been there.
Jules: Really?
Sean: Sure, I remember travelling around South America with two friends. And we'd always been able to get a room for three until we came to this one place where could only find doubles. And the thing was, we had to get up at 3 o'clock or something stupid to go on this hike. So we were like fuck it, we're not paying for two rooms so we persuaded them to let us all share one double bed. So we had 3 blokes, of which I was the smallest, rammed into this double bed. My face is up against the wall and Liam's knees are digging into my back and I do some quick sums. We'd saved £1.20 each by not getting another room.
Jules: Well, you know, you look after the pennies
Sean: And the pounds get spent on Chiropractors
Jules: Where in South America did you go?
Sean: Flew into Buenos Aires then up the Andes, Bolivia, Peru, then out to the Galapagos and home from Ecuador.
Jules: How long did it take you?
Sean: Seven weeks.
Jules: Seven weeks? To do the length of South America.
Sean: We went quite hard.
Jules: Did you fly everywhere
Sean: No, just took an awful lot of buses.
Jules: You must have spent half your time on a bus.
Sean (shrugs): The views were good. And my knowledge of Jean-Claude Van Damme movies went up exponentially. You ever been to South America?
Jules: Lived in Chile for a year.
Sean: Hence the conversation. You get to see anywhere else.
Jules: I went to Macchu Picchu but I flew.
Sean: Well I guess some people don't worry about their carbon footprint.
Jules: So how did you get to Indonesia, row boat?
Sean: Pedalo. I was only meant to go to the Isle of Wight. Overshot slightly.
It's a crap joke but Juels still smiles.
Jules: No, but you're right, it's ridiculous. I've spent the last two years working on ways for Britain to cut its footpriny and then what do I do? Fly all over the fucking world for six months. It's quite spectacular hypocrisy. No wonder we're fucked. I'm meant to be one of the ones who gets it, who cares, who's willing to make sacrifices. But still I went and left on a jet plane. About ten times.
Sean: It sucks doesn't it. Generally I'm pretty cool with the sacrifices that need to be made. I'll slip on a big thick jumper rather than put the heating on, bike arond the place, eat less meat. I'm good with all that. But stop flying? Actually say, it's good, I don't want to see the rest of the world, I'll go on holiday to Southwold. I have no interest in seeing what else the world has to offer. I just don't know that I'm willing to do that, even to save manknd.
Jules: And then who are we are to say to those who go, you know what I don't want to fly. I'm quite happy where I am in comfort and with people I know. If you say I can't travel the world, that's not a problem. As long as you let me drive my car, I'll happily sacrifice any chance to see what Indonesia is like. What do you say to those people?
Sean is silent for a second and looks out again at the sun dipping below the horizon.
Sean: I'd say, you should see what I'm seeing.
Jules smiles and relaxes, letting the view take the spotlight.
Jules: How much did you give him?
Sean: Enough
Jules: How much, I'll go halves.
Sean: You don't have to do that.
Jules: I do. If I can't convince those boneheads that students or not, they're a hell of a lot richer than the people they're refusing to tip then I can at least pay part.
Sean: Your part isn't half.
Jules: And your part isn't whole. Stop being such a martyr just because of those brats.
Sean: Hey, we've all been there.
Jules: Really?
Sean: Sure, I remember travelling around South America with two friends. And we'd always been able to get a room for three until we came to this one place where could only find doubles. And the thing was, we had to get up at 3 o'clock or something stupid to go on this hike. So we were like fuck it, we're not paying for two rooms so we persuaded them to let us all share one double bed. So we had 3 blokes, of which I was the smallest, rammed into this double bed. My face is up against the wall and Liam's knees are digging into my back and I do some quick sums. We'd saved £1.20 each by not getting another room.
Jules: Well, you know, you look after the pennies
Sean: And the pounds get spent on Chiropractors
Jules: Where in South America did you go?
Sean: Flew into Buenos Aires then up the Andes, Bolivia, Peru, then out to the Galapagos and home from Ecuador.
Jules: How long did it take you?
Sean: Seven weeks.
Jules: Seven weeks? To do the length of South America.
Sean: We went quite hard.
Jules: Did you fly everywhere
Sean: No, just took an awful lot of buses.
Jules: You must have spent half your time on a bus.
Sean (shrugs): The views were good. And my knowledge of Jean-Claude Van Damme movies went up exponentially. You ever been to South America?
Jules: Lived in Chile for a year.
Sean: Hence the conversation. You get to see anywhere else.
Jules: I went to Macchu Picchu but I flew.
Sean: Well I guess some people don't worry about their carbon footprint.
Jules: So how did you get to Indonesia, row boat?
Sean: Pedalo. I was only meant to go to the Isle of Wight. Overshot slightly.
It's a crap joke but Juels still smiles.
Jules: No, but you're right, it's ridiculous. I've spent the last two years working on ways for Britain to cut its footpriny and then what do I do? Fly all over the fucking world for six months. It's quite spectacular hypocrisy. No wonder we're fucked. I'm meant to be one of the ones who gets it, who cares, who's willing to make sacrifices. But still I went and left on a jet plane. About ten times.
Sean: It sucks doesn't it. Generally I'm pretty cool with the sacrifices that need to be made. I'll slip on a big thick jumper rather than put the heating on, bike arond the place, eat less meat. I'm good with all that. But stop flying? Actually say, it's good, I don't want to see the rest of the world, I'll go on holiday to Southwold. I have no interest in seeing what else the world has to offer. I just don't know that I'm willing to do that, even to save manknd.
Jules: And then who are we are to say to those who go, you know what I don't want to fly. I'm quite happy where I am in comfort and with people I know. If you say I can't travel the world, that's not a problem. As long as you let me drive my car, I'll happily sacrifice any chance to see what Indonesia is like. What do you say to those people?
Sean is silent for a second and looks out again at the sun dipping below the horizon.
Sean: I'd say, you should see what I'm seeing.
Jules smiles and relaxes, letting the view take the spotlight.
First Narration
One of the things I want to add to this script is a series of vignettes where stories about Indonesia, the country the characters travel through without ever really scratching the surface of, get an airing. They'll be about some character who is helping them, who they're not really paying any attention to.
It's very much following a model used by the Cuaron brothers in Y Tu Mama Tambien. Like them I want an impersonal narrator and visuals that highlight what the characters are doing rather than the subjects of the stories.
Anyway this is the first one about the boat pilot taking the guys to the island to see Komodo dragons. As the story unfolds we see the tourists leave the boat, step onto the island, see the dragons, admire the view, take photos, come back, fail to give the guide a tip and then Sean runs back and gives them something, and then get back on the boat and sail back under a setting sun as the story ends.
And this is what it sounds like, first draft anyway:
Muhammed was glad that the white man with the coloured eyes was playing with the boy. He often took the boy to and from the island where his mother worked as a guide but they never talked. They never really interacted except to say hello and goodbye. Muhammed didn't feel comfortable talking to children.
He'd been the youngest of six so wasn't used to having to take care of anyone younger than himself and when he'd gone off to find work it was in the forest, away from families and children.
But when he'd come back to the fishing villae, children were suddenly important. Latipah, the most beuatiful woman in the village, who he'd gawped at in school and at festivals, was a widow with three young children. Muhammed had money now and could be a husband. He started visiting her and soon they were married.
Now he was a father and although he was nervous at first he soon learnt to love his new children and would take them swimming in the morning in the Indian Ocean off Aceh.
Then one morning, the day after a holiday for Christians, the waves started to pull away, back into the sea. He wasn't sure why at first but then he saw it start to swell. He grabbed the youngest in one arm and the middle in another but he did not have space for the eldest.
'Run' he told him. He was a quick boy. Maybe he could make it himself. They started to run but thye boy was too small. He couldn't keep up. Muhammed couldn't stop for him. He'd lose all the children if he did. He ran and he ran. He got to higher ground, left the other two and sprinted back.
But the waves had come. For six days he searched for the boy. But he was gone.
Latipah would not speak to him. Would not look at him except once but all he could see in those eyes were anger, fury. He had let her sone die. If it had been his own son, he would not have let this happen.
Muhammed did not believe this but he could persuade her. Eventually he realised he had to leave.
He came to Flores and settled among the Catholics, who drank beer. He drank beer too now. And didn't pray. Not even on Fridays. He had a job. He'd even made some friends. He had, not a whole life again, but he did have a bit of one. But he couldn't talk to children.
It's very much following a model used by the Cuaron brothers in Y Tu Mama Tambien. Like them I want an impersonal narrator and visuals that highlight what the characters are doing rather than the subjects of the stories.
Anyway this is the first one about the boat pilot taking the guys to the island to see Komodo dragons. As the story unfolds we see the tourists leave the boat, step onto the island, see the dragons, admire the view, take photos, come back, fail to give the guide a tip and then Sean runs back and gives them something, and then get back on the boat and sail back under a setting sun as the story ends.
And this is what it sounds like, first draft anyway:
Muhammed was glad that the white man with the coloured eyes was playing with the boy. He often took the boy to and from the island where his mother worked as a guide but they never talked. They never really interacted except to say hello and goodbye. Muhammed didn't feel comfortable talking to children.
He'd been the youngest of six so wasn't used to having to take care of anyone younger than himself and when he'd gone off to find work it was in the forest, away from families and children.
But when he'd come back to the fishing villae, children were suddenly important. Latipah, the most beuatiful woman in the village, who he'd gawped at in school and at festivals, was a widow with three young children. Muhammed had money now and could be a husband. He started visiting her and soon they were married.
Now he was a father and although he was nervous at first he soon learnt to love his new children and would take them swimming in the morning in the Indian Ocean off Aceh.
Then one morning, the day after a holiday for Christians, the waves started to pull away, back into the sea. He wasn't sure why at first but then he saw it start to swell. He grabbed the youngest in one arm and the middle in another but he did not have space for the eldest.
'Run' he told him. He was a quick boy. Maybe he could make it himself. They started to run but thye boy was too small. He couldn't keep up. Muhammed couldn't stop for him. He'd lose all the children if he did. He ran and he ran. He got to higher ground, left the other two and sprinted back.
But the waves had come. For six days he searched for the boy. But he was gone.
Latipah would not speak to him. Would not look at him except once but all he could see in those eyes were anger, fury. He had let her sone die. If it had been his own son, he would not have let this happen.
Muhammed did not believe this but he could persuade her. Eventually he realised he had to leave.
He came to Flores and settled among the Catholics, who drank beer. He drank beer too now. And didn't pray. Not even on Fridays. He had a job. He'd even made some friends. He had, not a whole life again, but he did have a bit of one. But he couldn't talk to children.
Trip to Komodo
Context:
After meeting on the bus and not exactly getting on famously, Sean went to a different hotel then Jules and said goodbye. If they'd thought about it they'd probably have guessed they were doing the same thing in the morning but they say goodbye as if they're never going to see each other again. In her case, good riddance. In his case, he's already decided there's something about her, but he can't figure out what.
Int. Tourist Agency
As far as makeshift backpacker 'travel agencies' go, this one's quite smart. There's a computer that seems to work, a glass door and a ceiling fan that actually cools the room to a pleasant degree.
As Sean walks in, two men- one slight slick and one considerably more dim looking- stand up immediately.
Slick man: Hello! You go see Komodo Dragons?
Sean: Yes. Is it possible today?
Slick Man: Today? Yes, very quick. But leave in 5 minutes. Come
Sean: How much?
Slick Man: 100,000 Rupiah
Sean laughs and shakes his head and makes to leave.
Slick Man: It's a good price.
Sean: Well I go to the next one and see what he says.
Slick man: Ok. You miss the boat.
Sean walks out the door and is called back.
Slick Man: Ok, ok. 80,000.
Sean turns back triumphant. He consider further haggling but then coughs up.
Ext. Jetty.
The other man rushes him to the boat. To Sean's surprise, they really weren't joking about missing the boat. They get to the Jetty just as the ropes are about to be untied and he jumps in.
As he sits down, he see who he is with. There's the pilot, a gruff haggard and lean man with a strong mullet and moustache combo going on. A young boy who's carrying groceries. Three spanish students about 21, looking the epitome of backpacker chic. And with them is Jules. The four of them had been happily in conversation in Spanish before his arrival.
Sean (to all): Hi there.
He has a special smile and nod for Jules.
Sean: You sleep alright?
Jules nods and then introduces the Spainards.
Jules: This is Paco, Jorge and Ignacio.
Sean: Hola.
Ignacio: You speak Spanish?
The rest of the conversation is in Spanish with English subtitles. But the subtitles do no translate perfectly. They are only as good as Sean's understanding which is not brilliant. When Sean is speaking they highlight his imperfect grasp.
Sean: A little. But I understand well, so please continue your conversation.
Jorge: Are you sure?
Sean: Of course.
As he says this, the boat starts its engine and makes it way out to sea. Sean notices the little boy looking at him shyly. Sean smiles at him and the boy smiles back.
Jules(to Sean): We were talking about Chile.
Sean: Oh, are you guys from Chile?
Jorge(mock offended): No! We're Madrid people.
Sean: From Madrid?
Jorge: Yes.
Jules: It's obvious because of their ___ accents
As she says this she pushes up her nose.
Jorge: _____ English ___
Jules: Me no. I'm from Yorkshire. It's not (pico)
Sean: What is pico?
Jules(in English): Posh
Sean(back in Spanish): You say you're not posh?
Jules: Yes
Sean: Where you from?
Jules: Harrogate
Sean (to the Spaniards): Harrogate is very posh
He does the nose thing. The Spaniards laugh.
Jules: Well, where are you from?
Sean(smiling): Kent
Jules: He's from the south, he's posher than me.
Ignacio: English, always talking about class.
Jules: It's interesting.
Ignacio: Yes, but ___
Jorge: ___
Paco: ____
Ignacio: No
Paco: Yes _____ South
Jorge: ______ Gays_____
Jules: But it's true, when____ cities___
Paco: _____
Jorge: _____
The all laugh.
Sean is bored at this poin and turns to the boy. He offers him a peanut. The boy says yes and Sean throws it at him. The boy nearly misses it and it begins a game where he throws them and the boy has to catch them or at least stop them going overboard.
The pilot watches this and the smalles trace of a smile begins to cross his mouth.
And now begins the narration, see next post
After meeting on the bus and not exactly getting on famously, Sean went to a different hotel then Jules and said goodbye. If they'd thought about it they'd probably have guessed they were doing the same thing in the morning but they say goodbye as if they're never going to see each other again. In her case, good riddance. In his case, he's already decided there's something about her, but he can't figure out what.
Int. Tourist Agency
As far as makeshift backpacker 'travel agencies' go, this one's quite smart. There's a computer that seems to work, a glass door and a ceiling fan that actually cools the room to a pleasant degree.
As Sean walks in, two men- one slight slick and one considerably more dim looking- stand up immediately.
Slick man: Hello! You go see Komodo Dragons?
Sean: Yes. Is it possible today?
Slick Man: Today? Yes, very quick. But leave in 5 minutes. Come
Sean: How much?
Slick Man: 100,000 Rupiah
Sean laughs and shakes his head and makes to leave.
Slick Man: It's a good price.
Sean: Well I go to the next one and see what he says.
Slick man: Ok. You miss the boat.
Sean walks out the door and is called back.
Slick Man: Ok, ok. 80,000.
Sean turns back triumphant. He consider further haggling but then coughs up.
Ext. Jetty.
The other man rushes him to the boat. To Sean's surprise, they really weren't joking about missing the boat. They get to the Jetty just as the ropes are about to be untied and he jumps in.
As he sits down, he see who he is with. There's the pilot, a gruff haggard and lean man with a strong mullet and moustache combo going on. A young boy who's carrying groceries. Three spanish students about 21, looking the epitome of backpacker chic. And with them is Jules. The four of them had been happily in conversation in Spanish before his arrival.
Sean (to all): Hi there.
He has a special smile and nod for Jules.
Sean: You sleep alright?
Jules nods and then introduces the Spainards.
Jules: This is Paco, Jorge and Ignacio.
Sean: Hola.
Ignacio: You speak Spanish?
The rest of the conversation is in Spanish with English subtitles. But the subtitles do no translate perfectly. They are only as good as Sean's understanding which is not brilliant. When Sean is speaking they highlight his imperfect grasp.
Sean: A little. But I understand well, so please continue your conversation.
Jorge: Are you sure?
Sean: Of course.
As he says this, the boat starts its engine and makes it way out to sea. Sean notices the little boy looking at him shyly. Sean smiles at him and the boy smiles back.
Jules(to Sean): We were talking about Chile.
Sean: Oh, are you guys from Chile?
Jorge(mock offended): No! We're Madrid people.
Sean: From Madrid?
Jorge: Yes.
Jules: It's obvious because of their ___ accents
As she says this she pushes up her nose.
Jorge: _____ English ___
Jules: Me no. I'm from Yorkshire. It's not (pico)
Sean: What is pico?
Jules(in English): Posh
Sean(back in Spanish): You say you're not posh?
Jules: Yes
Sean: Where you from?
Jules: Harrogate
Sean (to the Spaniards): Harrogate is very posh
He does the nose thing. The Spaniards laugh.
Jules: Well, where are you from?
Sean(smiling): Kent
Jules: He's from the south, he's posher than me.
Ignacio: English, always talking about class.
Jules: It's interesting.
Ignacio: Yes, but ___
Jorge: ___
Paco: ____
Ignacio: No
Paco: Yes _____ South
Jorge: ______ Gays_____
Jules: But it's true, when____ cities___
Paco: _____
Jorge: _____
The all laugh.
Sean is bored at this poin and turns to the boy. He offers him a peanut. The boy says yes and Sean throws it at him. The boy nearly misses it and it begins a game where he throws them and the boy has to catch them or at least stop them going overboard.
The pilot watches this and the smalles trace of a smile begins to cross his mouth.
And now begins the narration, see next post
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