Wednesday, 23 March 2011
10 pages
I'm entering a competition tomorrow in which I submit 10 pages from my script. I've gone for these 10 because I hope they set up Lois and Toby and the tone is right. I may be wrong. Anyway, let me know what you think.
INT. CASA DEL HIPSTER-NIGHT
Case del Hipster is a cavernous ex-warehouse job with arches where DJs play various unexciting minimalist beats to people bopping their heads with studied nonchalance.
Lois is wearing red shoes, a red belt and a red hat. Toby is wearing a red T-shirt and a red sweatband.
No one else is wearing red.
They look around the room. Toby sees someone in a bright red shirt. They go over to him but when he turns, they don’t recognise him and have to shuffle away after an unfriendly look.
Toby nods, not really hearing.
He makes the universal signal for a drink. Lois nods and gets her wallet out. Toby refuses it authoritatively. He goes up to the bar and tries to get served but he seems to be constantly beaten. Finally he has the barmaid in his sights. He’s definitely next. He’s practically at the bar. She turns to look at him.
The barmaid comes back with the drinks.
Lois comes up to them.
They down their drinks and follow him.
INT. BEDROOM-DAY
Lois wakes up. She has that moment when you realise you’re not in your own bed. This turns to concern when she sees the bed she’s in has black satin sheets. She turns over. Toby is sleeping there. She looks under the covers. They’re both still wearing their clothes from the night before. She looks around the room. She doesn’t recognise it.
Toby makes a strange and pathetic SQUEAL. Seb opens the door.
Seb nods.
INT. LIVING ROOM- DAY
Seb and Toby are playing a football video game while sitting on the sofa.
Beat.
EXT. STREET- DAY
Toby and Lois are marching down the street. Lois stops at the bus stop.
INT. TUBE STATION
Toby comes racing into the station, hands flailing as he gets his wallet out. He doesn’t touch the pad properly and hits the gate. Chastened, he carefully hits it and then starts running down the escalator.
EXT. STREET- DAY
Lois calmly beeps onto the bus and goes up the stairs to the top floor.
INT. TUBE PLATFORM
Toby comes down the escalator and sees the train at the platform. He flings himself through the doors and lands loudly. He smiles to himself about just making it.
He steadies himself and then realises the doors still haven’t shut. He quietly sits down. Then another guy does exactly what he did. But this time the doors do close straight after. The man looks really pleased with himself.
INT. BUS-DAY
Lois is on the top of the bus at the front looking out. The traffic in front of her doesn’t look good.
INT. TUBE CARRIAGE
The train is about to come into the platform. Toby is at the front. Someone next to him tries to get to the front but Toby moves his shoulder across to block him. Don’t even think about it.
The doors open and he bursts out and up the stairs.
EXT. BUS-DAY
The bus clears through some traffic and starts to pick up some speed. Lois nods approvingly. She looks at her watch.
INT. TRAIN STATION DAY
Toby runs onto the platform and looks at the ticker. 7 minutes. He’s dismayed.
EXT. BUS-DAY
The bus is going really slow now. Lois gives up. She gets off and runs.
INT. TRAIN PLATFORM-DAY
The train arrives. Toby get on.
INT. ANOTHER TRAIN PLATFORM.
Lois runs up the stairs as the train arrives. She goes to the correct carriage as the doors open. As they open, she sees Toby in front of her, smiling. She smiles back.
They both get off the train.
She kicks Toby in the bollocks and runs down the stairs. Toby reels.
EXT. STREET- DAY
Lois is running, broad smile on her face, looking behind to see if Toby is coming.
EXT. STREET- DAY
Lois gets to the turn off for their street when a taxi comes by and drops Toby off right next to her. Toby pays and gets out and runs. He nearly runs straight into MARK, 27, but looking much younger despite an attempt at growing a beard. Mark is laden down with two enormous bags and looks bewildered as Lois and then Toby speed past him.
Toby races ahead and just overtakes Lois as they get to the house. He collapses in a heap.
INT. CASA DEL HIPSTER-NIGHT
Case del Hipster is a cavernous ex-warehouse job with arches where DJs play various unexciting minimalist beats to people bopping their heads with studied nonchalance.
Lois is wearing red shoes, a red belt and a red hat. Toby is wearing a red T-shirt and a red sweatband.
No one else is wearing red.
They look around the room. Toby sees someone in a bright red shirt. They go over to him but when he turns, they don’t recognise him and have to shuffle away after an unfriendly look.
LOIS
Maybe, he’s not here yet.
Maybe, he’s not here yet.
Toby nods, not really hearing.
TOBY
He’s probably not here yet. Do you want a drink?
He’s probably not here yet. Do you want a drink?
He makes the universal signal for a drink. Lois nods and gets her wallet out. Toby refuses it authoritatively. He goes up to the bar and tries to get served but he seems to be constantly beaten. Finally he has the barmaid in his sights. He’s definitely next. He’s practically at the bar. She turns to look at him.
TOBY (CONT'D)
Hi.
Hi.
MAN (O.C.)
(to the barmaid)
Hello, two things: Firstly, you really are quite fantastically beautiful and red really suits you. Secondly, could I have two double vodka and tonics for myself and two beers and a shot of tequila for this gentleman to my right. Thank-you.
Toby looks to see SEB, 28, short, angrily handsome and with hair that indicates his generally frenetic manner. Seb is smiling at him with a cheesy eyebrow chucked in for good measure.(to the barmaid)
Hello, two things: Firstly, you really are quite fantastically beautiful and red really suits you. Secondly, could I have two double vodka and tonics for myself and two beers and a shot of tequila for this gentleman to my right. Thank-you.
SEB
Red suits you too, by the way.
TOBY
Yeah, what was that about?
SEB
Just wanted to see who’s my bitch. And it’s you! Which is a surprise. Not the you being my bitch bit obviously but the fact you’re out and about. I mean what is this? Did the missus let you take your cojones out with you or are they back home doing the ironing.
Red suits you too, by the way.
TOBY
Yeah, what was that about?
SEB
Just wanted to see who’s my bitch. And it’s you! Which is a surprise. Not the you being my bitch bit obviously but the fact you’re out and about. I mean what is this? Did the missus let you take your cojones out with you or are they back home doing the ironing.
The barmaid comes back with the drinks.
SEB (CONT'D)
Muchas gracias. Hasta mas tarde.
He gives her a big smile. She doesn't respond.Muchas gracias. Hasta mas tarde.
SEB (CONT'D)
Did you know Americans call what we’re doing right now double fisting? And they call them a prudish people.
TOBY
Actually I’m just having the one fist.
SEB
(disappointed)
Is Julie here?
Did you know Americans call what we’re doing right now double fisting? And they call them a prudish people.
TOBY
Actually I’m just having the one fist.
SEB
(disappointed)
Is Julie here?
Lois comes up to them.
LOIS
Hi Seb.
SEB
Ah, the landlady! Now this is good news. Come on two kisses, let’s get continental. And you’re wearing red as well! Two bitches! This is going to be a fine night. So what brings you two out from the suburbs on a Friday?
Lois looks at Toby. He looks down.Hi Seb.
SEB
Ah, the landlady! Now this is good news. Come on two kisses, let’s get continental. And you’re wearing red as well! Two bitches! This is going to be a fine night. So what brings you two out from the suburbs on a Friday?
LOIS
My colleagues made me feel old today. I needed to prove them wrong.
SEB
Well you’ve come to the wrong place. I feel bloody ancient here. I thought no 21 years old had a job these days. What the hell they doing in an extortion racket like this? Any of your pupils here Toby?
TOBY
You do know I teach primary school?
SEB
Yes. Right, get that tequila down you.
Toby does so.
SEB (CONT'D)
And now the beer.
TOBY
I’m going to pace myself a little.
SEB
Nonsense, you’re probably going to have to head home at 11. Better get you in an embarrassing state before then.
TOBY
I don’t have to go home.
SEB
Really?
TOBY
Really.
SEB
And why’s that?
TOBY
Because she dumped me this afternoon. In 3B. Next to a paper mache dinosaur.
Seb hugs him. Beer goes everywhere.
SEB
You twat! Why didn’t you say? OK, we’re all getting properly trashed now. But not here. I’d probably end up being banned from going 100m from a school. Let’s go.
My colleagues made me feel old today. I needed to prove them wrong.
SEB
Well you’ve come to the wrong place. I feel bloody ancient here. I thought no 21 years old had a job these days. What the hell they doing in an extortion racket like this? Any of your pupils here Toby?
TOBY
You do know I teach primary school?
SEB
Yes. Right, get that tequila down you.
Toby does so.
SEB (CONT'D)
And now the beer.
TOBY
I’m going to pace myself a little.
SEB
Nonsense, you’re probably going to have to head home at 11. Better get you in an embarrassing state before then.
TOBY
I don’t have to go home.
SEB
Really?
TOBY
Really.
SEB
And why’s that?
TOBY
Because she dumped me this afternoon. In 3B. Next to a paper mache dinosaur.
Seb hugs him. Beer goes everywhere.
SEB
You twat! Why didn’t you say? OK, we’re all getting properly trashed now. But not here. I’d probably end up being banned from going 100m from a school. Let’s go.
They down their drinks and follow him.
INT. BEDROOM-DAY
Lois wakes up. She has that moment when you realise you’re not in your own bed. This turns to concern when she sees the bed she’s in has black satin sheets. She turns over. Toby is sleeping there. She looks under the covers. They’re both still wearing their clothes from the night before. She looks around the room. She doesn’t recognise it.
TOBY
(not looking up)
Lois?
LOIS
(whispering)
Yeah?
TOBY
(not whispering)
What are we doing in Seb’s bed?
SEB (O.C.)
(from behind the door)
Right, unless you guys are having sex, I’m coming in 7,6,5,4,3,2
(not looking up)
Lois?
LOIS
(whispering)
Yeah?
TOBY
(not whispering)
What are we doing in Seb’s bed?
SEB (O.C.)
(from behind the door)
Right, unless you guys are having sex, I’m coming in 7,6,5,4,3,2
Toby makes a strange and pathetic SQUEAL. Seb opens the door.
SEB (CONT'D)
1! What was that?
TOBY
My fake sex noise.
There’s a moment of silence in the room.1! What was that?
TOBY
My fake sex noise.
SEB
I’m a little disturbed right now
(he gets over it)
So, I trust Sir and Madam had a good sleep. That the bed was to your satisfaction.
TOBY
Very nice. Thank-you, Jeeves.
SEB
Good because one wouldn’t want any discomfort. If one is too drunk to get a taxi in London, one must of course steal the bed of one’s host and let him squat on the sofa.
TOBY
Well, I for one, was hoping you’d join us.
LOIS
Can I use the shower, Seb? I’ll leave you boys to flirt in peace.
I’m a little disturbed right now
(he gets over it)
So, I trust Sir and Madam had a good sleep. That the bed was to your satisfaction.
TOBY
Very nice. Thank-you, Jeeves.
SEB
Good because one wouldn’t want any discomfort. If one is too drunk to get a taxi in London, one must of course steal the bed of one’s host and let him squat on the sofa.
TOBY
Well, I for one, was hoping you’d join us.
LOIS
Can I use the shower, Seb? I’ll leave you boys to flirt in peace.
Seb nods.
INT. LIVING ROOM- DAY
Seb and Toby are playing a football video game while sitting on the sofa.
SEB
And he gets past him again. Leaves him for dead. And, OH YES!, Tune into radio Norfolk, because that, my friend, is the back of the net. Tell me, Toby, you must meet a lot of people who beat you; would you say I’m among the more gracious winners?
TOBY
You are aware you’re the only person I ever play computer games with?
SEB
Well what improving things do you normally do on a Saturday afternoon?
And he gets past him again. Leaves him for dead. And, OH YES!, Tune into radio Norfolk, because that, my friend, is the back of the net. Tell me, Toby, you must meet a lot of people who beat you; would you say I’m among the more gracious winners?
TOBY
You are aware you’re the only person I ever play computer games with?
SEB
Well what improving things do you normally do on a Saturday afternoon?
Beat.
TOBY
We’d watch Masterchef.
Seb gives Toby a hug.We’d watch Masterchef.
SEB
I cannot believe I’m hugging someone who admits to watching Masterchef. So we’ve already found one good thing about this. No more thinking chopping onions makes good television.
Lois comes in.
LOIS
Seb, no man should have that good a hair dryer. Do you mind if I make myself some coffee?
SEB
I don’t have any coffee.
LOIS
What?
SEB
It’s not good for you that stuff. I treat my body like a temple.
TOBY
You did 4 tequila slammers in a row last night.
SEB
A temple to a Mexican god. Who likes to party.
LOIS
What do you have to drink?
SEB
Green Tea.
LOIS
I think I might have to go home. Toby, what time’s your cousin arriving.
TOBY
Oh fuck! He’s coming at 1pm. What’s the time now?
LOIS
12:30pm.
TOBY
Shit! I better go.
(to Seb)
Cheers fella.
SEB
Hug it out one more time, come on.
They hug. Seb gives him a serious look in the eye to makes sure Toby knows he’s there for him. Toby smiles at its slightly intense earnestness and then heads off.I cannot believe I’m hugging someone who admits to watching Masterchef. So we’ve already found one good thing about this. No more thinking chopping onions makes good television.
Lois comes in.
LOIS
Seb, no man should have that good a hair dryer. Do you mind if I make myself some coffee?
SEB
I don’t have any coffee.
LOIS
What?
SEB
It’s not good for you that stuff. I treat my body like a temple.
TOBY
You did 4 tequila slammers in a row last night.
SEB
A temple to a Mexican god. Who likes to party.
LOIS
What do you have to drink?
SEB
Green Tea.
LOIS
I think I might have to go home. Toby, what time’s your cousin arriving.
TOBY
Oh fuck! He’s coming at 1pm. What’s the time now?
LOIS
12:30pm.
TOBY
Shit! I better go.
(to Seb)
Cheers fella.
SEB
Hug it out one more time, come on.
EXT. STREET- DAY
Toby and Lois are marching down the street. Lois stops at the bus stop.
TOBY
What are you doing?
LOIS
I’m getting the bus. It’ll be faster.
TOBY
No, it won’t.
LOIS
It’s quicker, especially on a Saturday.
TOBY
I promise you it’s not.
LOIS
Race ya.
Toby pulls a face as if he’d never stoop to such juvenile behaviour. Then he starts running. Hard. Lois smiles and then she looks round. She can see the bus up the road. She feels pretty confident.What are you doing?
LOIS
I’m getting the bus. It’ll be faster.
TOBY
No, it won’t.
LOIS
It’s quicker, especially on a Saturday.
TOBY
I promise you it’s not.
LOIS
Race ya.
INT. TUBE STATION
Toby comes racing into the station, hands flailing as he gets his wallet out. He doesn’t touch the pad properly and hits the gate. Chastened, he carefully hits it and then starts running down the escalator.
EXT. STREET- DAY
Lois calmly beeps onto the bus and goes up the stairs to the top floor.
INT. TUBE PLATFORM
Toby comes down the escalator and sees the train at the platform. He flings himself through the doors and lands loudly. He smiles to himself about just making it.
He steadies himself and then realises the doors still haven’t shut. He quietly sits down. Then another guy does exactly what he did. But this time the doors do close straight after. The man looks really pleased with himself.
INT. BUS-DAY
Lois is on the top of the bus at the front looking out. The traffic in front of her doesn’t look good.
INT. TUBE CARRIAGE
The train is about to come into the platform. Toby is at the front. Someone next to him tries to get to the front but Toby moves his shoulder across to block him. Don’t even think about it.
The doors open and he bursts out and up the stairs.
EXT. BUS-DAY
The bus clears through some traffic and starts to pick up some speed. Lois nods approvingly. She looks at her watch.
INT. TRAIN STATION DAY
Toby runs onto the platform and looks at the ticker. 7 minutes. He’s dismayed.
EXT. BUS-DAY
The bus is going really slow now. Lois gives up. She gets off and runs.
INT. TRAIN PLATFORM-DAY
The train arrives. Toby get on.
INT. ANOTHER TRAIN PLATFORM.
Lois runs up the stairs as the train arrives. She goes to the correct carriage as the doors open. As they open, she sees Toby in front of her, smiling. She smiles back.
LOIS
I guess that counts as a draw.
INT. YET ANOTHER TRAIN PLATFORM-DAYI guess that counts as a draw.
They both get off the train.
TOBY
You know given that I had to wait for my train, I don’t think it should count as a draw.
LOIS
No, I don’t think it counts as a draw.
TOBY
Really?
LOIS
Yep. First one to the house wins.
You know given that I had to wait for my train, I don’t think it should count as a draw.
LOIS
No, I don’t think it counts as a draw.
TOBY
Really?
LOIS
Yep. First one to the house wins.
She kicks Toby in the bollocks and runs down the stairs. Toby reels.
EXT. STREET- DAY
Lois is running, broad smile on her face, looking behind to see if Toby is coming.
EXT. STREET- DAY
Lois gets to the turn off for their street when a taxi comes by and drops Toby off right next to her. Toby pays and gets out and runs. He nearly runs straight into MARK, 27, but looking much younger despite an attempt at growing a beard. Mark is laden down with two enormous bags and looks bewildered as Lois and then Toby speed past him.
Toby races ahead and just overtakes Lois as they get to the house. He collapses in a heap.
TOBY
(catching his breath)
You. Are not. Very ladylike.
LOIS
You took a bloody taxi!
TOBY
I was injured. I needed a runner.
LOIS
You know, I thought that guy with the bags might be your cousin.
TOBY
Yeah, I was wondering that.
LOIS
Don’t you know what he looks like?
TOBY
I know what he looked like at 13. I’m working on the principle that he might have changed. Well, he’s coming towards us.
Sure enough, Mark is slowly, slightly warily, coming towards them. He’s checking the numbers and realising that, indeed, the two strange running people are outside the house that he’s meant to be going to.(catching his breath)
You. Are not. Very ladylike.
LOIS
You took a bloody taxi!
TOBY
I was injured. I needed a runner.
LOIS
You know, I thought that guy with the bags might be your cousin.
TOBY
Yeah, I was wondering that.
LOIS
Don’t you know what he looks like?
TOBY
I know what he looked like at 13. I’m working on the principle that he might have changed. Well, he’s coming towards us.
LOIS
(to Toby)
Say hello to him.
TOBY
What?
LOIS
Welcome him!
TOBY
What if it’s not him?
LOIS
What if it is?
TOBY/LOIS
You must be Mark!
If Mark wasn’t unsettled before, he is now.(to Toby)
Say hello to him.
TOBY
What?
LOIS
Welcome him!
TOBY
What if it’s not him?
LOIS
What if it is?
Toby and Lois look at each other and then both at the same time.
TOBY/LOIS
You must be Mark!
MARK
Yes.
Yes.
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Comedy SWF
I'm going to this in a couple weeks. It should be good. The lineup is very impressive and I'll know some people to talk to etc. and compares notes.
If you want to go and haven't got a ticket go via one of these blogs: Danny Stack or the founder of the festival Chris Jones. They'll give you a discount code. They both were excellent at the London Screenwriters Festival in October. Supportive, warm and interesting so go through them and come. And if you're coming let me know and we'll hook up.
I'll be talking about the festival more soon.
If you want to go and haven't got a ticket go via one of these blogs: Danny Stack or the founder of the festival Chris Jones. They'll give you a discount code. They both were excellent at the London Screenwriters Festival in October. Supportive, warm and interesting so go through them and come. And if you're coming let me know and we'll hook up.
I'll be talking about the festival more soon.
11 days
A distinctly random idea and one I don't think I'm suited to write but I have this what if about what would happen if you found yourself back in the body of yourself on 1st September 2001. You have 11 days to try and convince somebody who can do something that they have to stop a terrorist atrocity but you're just you. Who's going to listen? Especially when you know it's going to happen because you've been to future. They're going to lock you up.
I have no idea how you'd go about it but that makes it seem fascinating to me.
I have no idea how you'd go about it but that makes it seem fascinating to me.
The Race
I've been re-watching a bit of the West Wing. I finally caught up with the end of Season 7 which I'd never seen and now regret I ever wasted time watching. They clearly had absolutely no idea what to do once John Spencer died as they couldn't really go into governing. They should have just given it a couple episodes to wrap up but I guess tell that to the channel controllers.
But I was reading how there were quite animated debates in the writing room about whether Vinick or Santos should win. Santos was always likely to win but it seems those who were writing Vinick really believed he should win.
Which I think is a great idea for a show. You set up a race- a mayoral race. There are going to be a number of inaugural mayor races in Britain over the next couple years so you can set them there. You go for one like Birmingham where it's conceivable someone other than Labour can win. And you assign writers to the teams and get them to write and direct their bits. You have controllers who are going to chuck problems and information at them and will stop the writers making their characters too likeable and perfect but it's up to the writing, directing and acting team to respond to the events, whether personal or political.
And you could have it semi-live, maybe a couple weeks behind so that the opinion of those watching it can dictate opinion polls. I think it could be a great mix of drama and interactivity. It would also be a great way for a city to be explored. The issues that matter locally will come to the fore and it could give people and idea of politics beyond Westminster.
BBC are moving to Salford so maybe it could be their way of discovering their new city.
But I was reading how there were quite animated debates in the writing room about whether Vinick or Santos should win. Santos was always likely to win but it seems those who were writing Vinick really believed he should win.
Which I think is a great idea for a show. You set up a race- a mayoral race. There are going to be a number of inaugural mayor races in Britain over the next couple years so you can set them there. You go for one like Birmingham where it's conceivable someone other than Labour can win. And you assign writers to the teams and get them to write and direct their bits. You have controllers who are going to chuck problems and information at them and will stop the writers making their characters too likeable and perfect but it's up to the writing, directing and acting team to respond to the events, whether personal or political.
And you could have it semi-live, maybe a couple weeks behind so that the opinion of those watching it can dictate opinion polls. I think it could be a great mix of drama and interactivity. It would also be a great way for a city to be explored. The issues that matter locally will come to the fore and it could give people and idea of politics beyond Westminster.
BBC are moving to Salford so maybe it could be their way of discovering their new city.
The Adjustment Bureau
The Adjustment Bureau
Something I would not recommend to say as you're going into the cinema with someone is 'Nick I don't think I'm going to like this'. Can make you a little nervous.
Naturally expectations being the game it is, I came out frustrated and she came out pleasantly surprised.
But then she thought she was being taken to see a Bourne rip off and I thought I was going to see a modern Matter of Life and Death.
So first, the Bourne bits. Matt Damon is very good at running. If you've seen a Bourne film you'd know that. But it bears repeating. Most people would look ridiculous but he manages to pull it off. Which is just as well as he does a lot of it.
My worry is that he is the reason why there is so much running. It's a film which is trying to mix a number of things: fantasy, romance, action film and political thriller. And it could probably have succeeded if it had just tried three. I'm just bit sure which three.
Fantasy has to be kept. It's the best bit. There's a wonderful world created of trilbies, transporting through doors and highly bureaucratic angels. It's well conceived, fun and nicely executed. With the exception of the man Damon who can't pull off a trilby at all, everyone looks very snazzy and it gives a great feel to it.
Romance doesn't quite work. I don't really like Emily blunt in it. Partly I don't like her in it, she doesn't quite have the charm. Partly their scenes togetheraren't that well written.
They're not terrible. But not sparkling.
But mostly the problem is that she is a cipher. She doesn't have her own plot. She just is chased first by mr Damon in a nice way and then by the trilbies in a nasty way. Afterwards we were talking about how much more interesting it would be if she was the one who could be a great president and he had to decide whether to risk sacrificing that. Or if her fiancée was actually the person that really mattered and they needed her to support him. And finally they just simply didn't spend enough time together for it to feel right. They needed to have at least spent one night together before he gets too obsessed.
Action: as I said he's very good at running and it gives the film a pace that makes it refreshing given the rest of the subject matter. The director is no Paul greengrass though so while it's fine, it's nothing to write home about.
Political thriller. The first sequence, with him campaigning through to him giving a speech about how everything is focus grouped is really nicely put together. You get the feeling this is one of the bits which the director felt most assured with. And given the amount of
The Democratic party establishment who turn up in the first 10 pages, it's probably the bit he knows best. But they seem to drop it. He's told that they've manipulated his life to make him driven to be President. And that's set up as a bad thing, a cruel piece of social engineering which denies him his chance of happiness. Which is obviously true but I don't think it's considered much of a dilemma. The sense of duty, that the world might need him to be president, is shrugged aside very quickly in a way that I think makes the final decision somewhat unsatisfying.
So I'm not sure what bit i'd drop. I'd just like nearly all of them to be better. It's a great idea and so many details are great and imaginative. But it doesn't quite take the subject matter by the scruff of the neck. It, like so many of my own ideas, doesn't fulfil the promise of the premise. But at least his made a film.
Something I would not recommend to say as you're going into the cinema with someone is 'Nick I don't think I'm going to like this'. Can make you a little nervous.
Naturally expectations being the game it is, I came out frustrated and she came out pleasantly surprised.
But then she thought she was being taken to see a Bourne rip off and I thought I was going to see a modern Matter of Life and Death.
So first, the Bourne bits. Matt Damon is very good at running. If you've seen a Bourne film you'd know that. But it bears repeating. Most people would look ridiculous but he manages to pull it off. Which is just as well as he does a lot of it.
My worry is that he is the reason why there is so much running. It's a film which is trying to mix a number of things: fantasy, romance, action film and political thriller. And it could probably have succeeded if it had just tried three. I'm just bit sure which three.
Fantasy has to be kept. It's the best bit. There's a wonderful world created of trilbies, transporting through doors and highly bureaucratic angels. It's well conceived, fun and nicely executed. With the exception of the man Damon who can't pull off a trilby at all, everyone looks very snazzy and it gives a great feel to it.
Romance doesn't quite work. I don't really like Emily blunt in it. Partly I don't like her in it, she doesn't quite have the charm. Partly their scenes togetheraren't that well written.
They're not terrible. But not sparkling.
But mostly the problem is that she is a cipher. She doesn't have her own plot. She just is chased first by mr Damon in a nice way and then by the trilbies in a nasty way. Afterwards we were talking about how much more interesting it would be if she was the one who could be a great president and he had to decide whether to risk sacrificing that. Or if her fiancée was actually the person that really mattered and they needed her to support him. And finally they just simply didn't spend enough time together for it to feel right. They needed to have at least spent one night together before he gets too obsessed.
Action: as I said he's very good at running and it gives the film a pace that makes it refreshing given the rest of the subject matter. The director is no Paul greengrass though so while it's fine, it's nothing to write home about.
Political thriller. The first sequence, with him campaigning through to him giving a speech about how everything is focus grouped is really nicely put together. You get the feeling this is one of the bits which the director felt most assured with. And given the amount of
The Democratic party establishment who turn up in the first 10 pages, it's probably the bit he knows best. But they seem to drop it. He's told that they've manipulated his life to make him driven to be President. And that's set up as a bad thing, a cruel piece of social engineering which denies him his chance of happiness. Which is obviously true but I don't think it's considered much of a dilemma. The sense of duty, that the world might need him to be president, is shrugged aside very quickly in a way that I think makes the final decision somewhat unsatisfying.
So I'm not sure what bit i'd drop. I'd just like nearly all of them to be better. It's a great idea and so many details are great and imaginative. But it doesn't quite take the subject matter by the scruff of the neck. It, like so many of my own ideas, doesn't fulfil the promise of the premise. But at least his made a film.
Saturday, 5 March 2011
Comfest tweets
This competition is a great way of making you focus on a pitch for your ideas
You can only put in 3 and I'm not sure I put the right three in so I'm putting them all up here. What worries me is that the two that sound worst are the two I've written/am writing. I'm not sure if that's because I know them so well it's hard to make them a simple pitch or because they are less instrinsically funny. Anyway here are the 5. See if you can spot the two I've written and let me know which you think work.
Dave is invincible but he's weak, unfit cowardly, no sense of public service and doesn't want to leave godalming to be a superhero
Three mates always tell great stories about their mate jack except he doesn't exist at least not until he's invited to one of them's wedding
Two flatmates are dumped for being boring and then compete to teach a grown man who's been bedridden since he was 13 how to have fun
A 6yr old girl can get anyone to do what she asks as long as she says please. One cousin wants to use her to save the world, the other to get the girl.
An index lets people bet on their friends lovelives. Girl discovers all her friends have bet she's going to be single all year and she tries to find out why.
You can only put in 3 and I'm not sure I put the right three in so I'm putting them all up here. What worries me is that the two that sound worst are the two I've written/am writing. I'm not sure if that's because I know them so well it's hard to make them a simple pitch or because they are less instrinsically funny. Anyway here are the 5. See if you can spot the two I've written and let me know which you think work.
Dave is invincible but he's weak, unfit cowardly, no sense of public service and doesn't want to leave godalming to be a superhero
Three mates always tell great stories about their mate jack except he doesn't exist at least not until he's invited to one of them's wedding
Two flatmates are dumped for being boring and then compete to teach a grown man who's been bedridden since he was 13 how to have fun
A 6yr old girl can get anyone to do what she asks as long as she says please. One cousin wants to use her to save the world, the other to get the girl.
An index lets people bet on their friends lovelives. Girl discovers all her friends have bet she's going to be single all year and she tries to find out why.
Snog the cat
When you snog some one below your league after having your heart broken by someone above it
It sets off a vicious cycle whereby the person below your league then does the same
Thing to someone below your league.
It started with Brad Pitt and ends with Dave. He doesn't know anyone below him in attractiveness.
Actually no, it's got to be a girl. A highly ugly man who's
Likeable can pull easy. An even vaguely ugly woman who's extremely likeable and impressive finds it much harder.
So she's not looking for someone to be with. She's looking for a cat to snog. And she finds someone but she starts to worry about breaking his heart. And the guy who snogged her cat comes calling again, thinking he may have missed out on something bigger
It sets off a vicious cycle whereby the person below your league then does the same
Thing to someone below your league.
It started with Brad Pitt and ends with Dave. He doesn't know anyone below him in attractiveness.
Actually no, it's got to be a girl. A highly ugly man who's
Likeable can pull easy. An even vaguely ugly woman who's extremely likeable and impressive finds it much harder.
So she's not looking for someone to be with. She's looking for a cat to snog. And she finds someone but she starts to worry about breaking his heart. And the guy who snogged her cat comes calling again, thinking he may have missed out on something bigger
Broadbrush details
I have a day job. And as part of it I've spent two days on a project management course. Which I actually quite liked, this is not a bitch about work or vapid corporate training,
But what it did remind me of is the difference between people who care about detail and those who are about the broad sweep. I'm very very broad sweep. My life is a constant stream of small mistakes stemming from having no eye for detail. I've learnt how to manage it but there's no doubt that it's not my strength.
And I was wondering if writers are detail or sweep people. On one level you'd like to think that writers have a vast range of personalities and take all types.
But on the other hand, writing is a specific activity. One that you do generally on your own. I have found writing so much easier since I felt I was doing it as part of a team but even as a team most of the stuff you do is still on your own. If it's a team sport it's cricket not rugby.
And that means that I suspect that in working patterns, writers are people who value their own company. The level to which that seeps into the rest of their life will vary but if you need to talk to people as part of your work day, I suggest you don't try writing.
So presuming there are similarities, I'm going to suggest that writers are strategic which makes them unlike almost everyone else in film except the producer. Directors I feel I can't say either way.
If you are interested in every little detail then being a writer for the screen would drive you crazy. You don't get to decide what your characters look like, what they wear, their intonation. You don't get to decide how long each scene, how it looks, the tones and rhythms.
You're creating a blueprint and hoping others run with it. You can announce the key details of a character, a scene, a general look but you've got to let a lot of it go. So I reckon it helps from a negative point of view to be strategic. You're not in a position to be detailed in 90 sparsely written pages.
But moreover you do need to be strategic. You need to know how it fits together. You can craft the most wonderful scenes but unless it flows from a to b then it's no good. You have to have that overview of your world. How it connects to itself, its internal logic, what truths dictate how things pan out.
I have a feeling that I'll come back to this in a month and disagree with myself massively. Which is fine, you can never quote walt Whitman enough 'Do i contradict myself, very well i contradict myself; I am large, I contain multitudes'
Plus this is a broad sweep question I don't want to quibble over the details.
But what it did remind me of is the difference between people who care about detail and those who are about the broad sweep. I'm very very broad sweep. My life is a constant stream of small mistakes stemming from having no eye for detail. I've learnt how to manage it but there's no doubt that it's not my strength.
And I was wondering if writers are detail or sweep people. On one level you'd like to think that writers have a vast range of personalities and take all types.
But on the other hand, writing is a specific activity. One that you do generally on your own. I have found writing so much easier since I felt I was doing it as part of a team but even as a team most of the stuff you do is still on your own. If it's a team sport it's cricket not rugby.
And that means that I suspect that in working patterns, writers are people who value their own company. The level to which that seeps into the rest of their life will vary but if you need to talk to people as part of your work day, I suggest you don't try writing.
So presuming there are similarities, I'm going to suggest that writers are strategic which makes them unlike almost everyone else in film except the producer. Directors I feel I can't say either way.
If you are interested in every little detail then being a writer for the screen would drive you crazy. You don't get to decide what your characters look like, what they wear, their intonation. You don't get to decide how long each scene, how it looks, the tones and rhythms.
You're creating a blueprint and hoping others run with it. You can announce the key details of a character, a scene, a general look but you've got to let a lot of it go. So I reckon it helps from a negative point of view to be strategic. You're not in a position to be detailed in 90 sparsely written pages.
But moreover you do need to be strategic. You need to know how it fits together. You can craft the most wonderful scenes but unless it flows from a to b then it's no good. You have to have that overview of your world. How it connects to itself, its internal logic, what truths dictate how things pan out.
I have a feeling that I'll come back to this in a month and disagree with myself massively. Which is fine, you can never quote walt Whitman enough 'Do i contradict myself, very well i contradict myself; I am large, I contain multitudes'
Plus this is a broad sweep question I don't want to quibble over the details.
Born Romantic
Not a self-description (my great discovery of my mid-20s was that I'm not really, i just like Hollywood movies)
It's the name of a bad movie I watched on Monday on the old iplayer. I don't normally review stuff watched at home (I'd just end up getting behind on my reviews again) but I feel like this film is a useful failure from someone trying to do similar things to me.
Those things:
Make London a character like Paris and New York so often are
Be intelligently mainstream and romantic
Look at Londoners as I think of them- in their 20s/30s, mostly from elsewhere originally, not struggling but never going to look right in a Richard Curtis movie
And moreover I suspect it's weaknesses are similar to ones I can see myself making. I'll review it and then pick up on this.
It's got a very weak title sequence with unexciting scenes of that most exciting of dances, Salsa. It then produces its setup of three men pursuing three women all rotating around a salsa club in London. They are shepherded by a ubiquitous and all wise taxi driver played by Adrian lester who somehow manages not to be really annoying, something he deserves great credit for. There's also a poor Greek chorus of misogynistic cabbies which is trite and not worth talking about.
It's a confusing film to watch because I watched it saying to myself that if It wasn't any good I'd turn it off. Then some point after the first act I found myself saying 'this is good' and determined to keep watching it. From then on it was like watching the wheels slowly and safely come off. There was no car crash just the eventual realisation that it's not going to get you there.
So what was good? Catherine McCormack plays a neurotic weirdo who tends graves for those who can't get to them. It's a genuinely interesting idea and I think for the most part she plays her well. Highly highly neurotic but with a warmth and interest in others to go with her vulnerability
They play her off a puppy eyed idiot who steals for not very clear reasons. It's not because he's good at it. It's declared at the end that he's getting off the rush but he doesn't seem to succeed enough for that to be worth it. His one redeeming feature is that he takes care of his dad with alzheimers but he doesn't even seem to do that with much warmth.
And that's a little bit the problem throughout. The girls have very clear flaws in big type: one's neurotic, one's cold and rude and won't let anyone in, one's a massive slut hiding her pain in booze and blokes.
By contrast the flaws with the men are basically that they're not very impressive. One's a thief, one's a failed musician and one I'm not sure but he seems to have had some money now sinking with his ex wife and his decaying house. But the key problem is that they're idiots, obnoxious and apparently all they have to do to change is learn how to salsa.
It seems unequal and this is something I often find to be the case with rom-coms and something i worry might be the case with Advanced Fun.
I'm trying to figure out what Lois's flaws are. She's not very good at letting go, she likes things to be planned. But spontaneity isn't beyond her.
She fails to notice that Mark isn't loving the fun. She doesn't have any feminine intuition. Well certainly not more than Toby.
She's one for distracting from her problems- she thinks she's falling for her flatmate so she goes on a date. She thinks she's lonely so she goes on a quest for fun.
I'm not sure if that's enough. But I do know the flaws have to be the little ones people have, misjudgements, lapses in selfishness not a one liner like in born romantic.
It's the name of a bad movie I watched on Monday on the old iplayer. I don't normally review stuff watched at home (I'd just end up getting behind on my reviews again) but I feel like this film is a useful failure from someone trying to do similar things to me.
Those things:
Make London a character like Paris and New York so often are
Be intelligently mainstream and romantic
Look at Londoners as I think of them- in their 20s/30s, mostly from elsewhere originally, not struggling but never going to look right in a Richard Curtis movie
And moreover I suspect it's weaknesses are similar to ones I can see myself making. I'll review it and then pick up on this.
It's got a very weak title sequence with unexciting scenes of that most exciting of dances, Salsa. It then produces its setup of three men pursuing three women all rotating around a salsa club in London. They are shepherded by a ubiquitous and all wise taxi driver played by Adrian lester who somehow manages not to be really annoying, something he deserves great credit for. There's also a poor Greek chorus of misogynistic cabbies which is trite and not worth talking about.
It's a confusing film to watch because I watched it saying to myself that if It wasn't any good I'd turn it off. Then some point after the first act I found myself saying 'this is good' and determined to keep watching it. From then on it was like watching the wheels slowly and safely come off. There was no car crash just the eventual realisation that it's not going to get you there.
So what was good? Catherine McCormack plays a neurotic weirdo who tends graves for those who can't get to them. It's a genuinely interesting idea and I think for the most part she plays her well. Highly highly neurotic but with a warmth and interest in others to go with her vulnerability
They play her off a puppy eyed idiot who steals for not very clear reasons. It's not because he's good at it. It's declared at the end that he's getting off the rush but he doesn't seem to succeed enough for that to be worth it. His one redeeming feature is that he takes care of his dad with alzheimers but he doesn't even seem to do that with much warmth.
And that's a little bit the problem throughout. The girls have very clear flaws in big type: one's neurotic, one's cold and rude and won't let anyone in, one's a massive slut hiding her pain in booze and blokes.
By contrast the flaws with the men are basically that they're not very impressive. One's a thief, one's a failed musician and one I'm not sure but he seems to have had some money now sinking with his ex wife and his decaying house. But the key problem is that they're idiots, obnoxious and apparently all they have to do to change is learn how to salsa.
It seems unequal and this is something I often find to be the case with rom-coms and something i worry might be the case with Advanced Fun.
I'm trying to figure out what Lois's flaws are. She's not very good at letting go, she likes things to be planned. But spontaneity isn't beyond her.
She fails to notice that Mark isn't loving the fun. She doesn't have any feminine intuition. Well certainly not more than Toby.
She's one for distracting from her problems- she thinks she's falling for her flatmate so she goes on a date. She thinks she's lonely so she goes on a quest for fun.
I'm not sure if that's enough. But I do know the flaws have to be the little ones people have, misjudgements, lapses in selfishness not a one liner like in born romantic.
True Grit
I turned on Beth after this. It's not a shallow sound but even in its well crafted melancholy it's not out of body.
That's not a problem. I still get a lot from it. But the last three films I've seen before this had a visceral sense to them. Of having been a little torn up. But I'm not feeling that now.
Nor do I think this was in anyway the aim. It's funny as you'd expect it to be. There's something of dickens (but not necessarily dickensian) about the side characters they create. Comedic, eccentric and with most of the jokes slipping in as you're riding off (literally in one case). Their sense of the absurd is spot on. And I think is far more powerful for finding its way into a western.
And as I've come to expect the action scenes are tense and immaculately directed. There's a great scene when an entire confrontation is filmed from the point of view of Jeff Bridges and a girl up on a ridge. You can't hear what's going on and the action consequently has a removed quality which feels far fresher and more exciting than another Sub greengrass flurry of steadycam rushes.
And the performances are good. I liked Matt Damon's role. He was a man with some sense of old school chivalry but neither the bravery or the smarts to totally pull it off. He's flawed in that light not too remarkable way most of us are. It was refreshing after the many highly driven creatures with big flaws I've been watching recently.
Speaking of driven: The girl's fantastic. Her precociousness somehow never grates. Partly because it's a true precociousness- she happily admits that there are things she can't do as well as others. She's not afraid to be scared.
But she does suffer from a terrible over assurance. SPOILER. Although to be honest all my reviews are pretty spoiler heavy.
She pays a heavy price for her pig headed determination. She is so smart and canny and bossy she might well have struggled to find a suitable mate in the wild west regardless. But I think the trip, the trauma, the loss of the arm, the stories that went with it, guaranteed it.
Her strength, her brains, her courage allow her to go off and do something remarkable but when she is so young that she doesn't see why the consequences may not be worth the actions. That the results are fairly derisory for a price that you sense is any chance of enjoying the rest of her life.
Telling that familiar tale of vengeance at a terrible price through a teenage girl does work but I'm struck that it took a bit of time for me to feel it and even as I write this, I'm wondering if I'm overdoing the effect it had on the rest of her life.
Certainly I didn't come out of the cinema thinking about the price of venegence particularly.
I think that's mainly because it ends weakly. Like a History of violence it takes a story with strong characters and psychological needs and gives it a straight action ending. It's enjoyable and there are a couple good surprises to the third act but it feels lacking in substance.
And then there's a epilogue which is distinctly unsatisfying. Much of the conjecture I've been talking about comes from that. Much of what makes it more than just a cowboy romp. But they're poor scenes. Undramatic, unengaging.
So good. Very good. But I'm not sure if it wanted to be just purely enjoyable or strived for more than that and so ended up with an end which for my money fell between two stools.
That's not a problem. I still get a lot from it. But the last three films I've seen before this had a visceral sense to them. Of having been a little torn up. But I'm not feeling that now.
Nor do I think this was in anyway the aim. It's funny as you'd expect it to be. There's something of dickens (but not necessarily dickensian) about the side characters they create. Comedic, eccentric and with most of the jokes slipping in as you're riding off (literally in one case). Their sense of the absurd is spot on. And I think is far more powerful for finding its way into a western.
And as I've come to expect the action scenes are tense and immaculately directed. There's a great scene when an entire confrontation is filmed from the point of view of Jeff Bridges and a girl up on a ridge. You can't hear what's going on and the action consequently has a removed quality which feels far fresher and more exciting than another Sub greengrass flurry of steadycam rushes.
And the performances are good. I liked Matt Damon's role. He was a man with some sense of old school chivalry but neither the bravery or the smarts to totally pull it off. He's flawed in that light not too remarkable way most of us are. It was refreshing after the many highly driven creatures with big flaws I've been watching recently.
Speaking of driven: The girl's fantastic. Her precociousness somehow never grates. Partly because it's a true precociousness- she happily admits that there are things she can't do as well as others. She's not afraid to be scared.
But she does suffer from a terrible over assurance. SPOILER. Although to be honest all my reviews are pretty spoiler heavy.
She pays a heavy price for her pig headed determination. She is so smart and canny and bossy she might well have struggled to find a suitable mate in the wild west regardless. But I think the trip, the trauma, the loss of the arm, the stories that went with it, guaranteed it.
Her strength, her brains, her courage allow her to go off and do something remarkable but when she is so young that she doesn't see why the consequences may not be worth the actions. That the results are fairly derisory for a price that you sense is any chance of enjoying the rest of her life.
Telling that familiar tale of vengeance at a terrible price through a teenage girl does work but I'm struck that it took a bit of time for me to feel it and even as I write this, I'm wondering if I'm overdoing the effect it had on the rest of her life.
Certainly I didn't come out of the cinema thinking about the price of venegence particularly.
I think that's mainly because it ends weakly. Like a History of violence it takes a story with strong characters and psychological needs and gives it a straight action ending. It's enjoyable and there are a couple good surprises to the third act but it feels lacking in substance.
And then there's a epilogue which is distinctly unsatisfying. Much of the conjecture I've been talking about comes from that. Much of what makes it more than just a cowboy romp. But they're poor scenes. Undramatic, unengaging.
So good. Very good. But I'm not sure if it wanted to be just purely enjoyable or strived for more than that and so ended up with an end which for my money fell between two stools.
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