10 pages

I'm entering a competition tomorrow in which I submit 10 pages from my script. I've gone for these 10 because I hope they set up Lois and Toby and the tone is right. I may be wrong. Anyway, let me know what you think.

INT. CASA DEL HIPSTER-NIGHT
Case del Hipster is a cavernous ex-warehouse job with arches where DJs play various unexciting minimalist beats to people bopping their heads with studied nonchalance.

Lois is wearing red shoes, a red belt and a red hat. Toby is wearing a red T-shirt and a red sweatband.

No one else is wearing red.

They look around the room. Toby sees someone in a bright red shirt. They go over to him but when he turns, they don’t recognise him and have to shuffle away after an unfriendly look.

LOIS
Maybe, he’s not here yet.

Toby nods, not really hearing.

TOBY
He’s probably not here yet. Do you want a drink?

He makes the universal signal for a drink. Lois nods and gets her wallet out. Toby refuses it authoritatively. He goes up to the bar and tries to get served but he seems to be constantly beaten. Finally he has the barmaid in his sights. He’s definitely next. He’s practically at the bar. She turns to look at him.

TOBY (CONT'D)
Hi.

MAN (O.C.)
(to the barmaid)
Hello, two things: Firstly, you really are quite fantastically beautiful and red really suits you. Secondly, could I have two double vodka and tonics for myself and two beers and a shot of tequila for this gentleman to my right. Thank-you.

Toby looks to see SEB, 28, short, angrily handsome and with hair that indicates his generally frenetic manner. Seb is smiling at him with a cheesy eyebrow chucked in for good measure.

SEB
Red suits you too, by the way.

TOBY
Yeah, what was that about?

SEB
Just wanted to see who’s my bitch. And it’s you! Which is a surprise. Not the you being my bitch bit obviously but the fact you’re out and about. I mean what is this? Did the missus let you take your cojones out with you or are they back home doing the ironing.

The barmaid comes back with the drinks.

SEB (CONT'D)
Muchas gracias. Hasta mas tarde.

He gives her a big smile. She doesn't respond.

SEB (CONT'D)
Did you know Americans call what we’re doing right now double fisting? And they call them a prudish people.

TOBY
Actually I’m just having the one fist.

SEB
(disappointed)
Is Julie here?

Lois comes up to them.

LOIS
Hi Seb.

SEB
Ah, the landlady! Now this is good news. Come on two kisses, let’s get continental. And you’re wearing red as well! Two bitches! This is going to be a fine night. So what brings you two out from the suburbs on a Friday?

Lois looks at Toby. He looks down.

LOIS
My colleagues made me feel old today. I needed to prove them wrong.

SEB
Well you’ve come to the wrong place. I feel bloody ancient here. I thought no 21 years old had a job these days. What the hell they doing in an extortion racket like this? Any of your pupils here Toby?

TOBY
You do know I teach primary school?

SEB
Yes. Right, get that tequila down you.
Toby does so.

SEB (CONT'D)
And now the beer.

TOBY
I’m going to pace myself a little.

SEB
Nonsense, you’re probably going to have to head home at 11. Better get you in an embarrassing state before then.

TOBY
I don’t have to go home.

SEB
Really?

TOBY
Really.

SEB
And why’s that?

TOBY
Because she dumped me this afternoon. In 3B. Next to a paper mache dinosaur.

Seb hugs him. Beer goes everywhere.

SEB
You twat! Why didn’t you say? OK, we’re all getting properly trashed now. But not here. I’d probably end up being banned from going 100m from a school. Let’s go.

They down their drinks and follow him.

INT. BEDROOM-DAY
Lois wakes up. She has that moment when you realise you’re not in your own bed. This turns to concern when she sees the bed she’s in has black satin sheets. She turns over. Toby is sleeping there. She looks under the covers. They’re both still wearing their clothes from the night before. She looks around the room. She doesn’t recognise it.

TOBY
(not looking up)
Lois?

LOIS
(whispering)
Yeah?

TOBY
(not whispering)
What are we doing in Seb’s bed?

SEB (O.C.)
(from behind the door)
Right, unless you guys are having sex, I’m coming in 7,6,5,4,3,2

Toby makes a strange and pathetic SQUEAL. Seb opens the door.

SEB (CONT'D)
1! What was that?

TOBY
My fake sex noise.

There’s a moment of silence in the room.

SEB
I’m a little disturbed right now
(he gets over it)
So, I trust Sir and Madam had a good sleep. That the bed was to your satisfaction.

TOBY
Very nice. Thank-you, Jeeves.

SEB
Good because one wouldn’t want any discomfort. If one is too drunk to get a taxi in London, one must of course steal the bed of one’s host and let him squat on the sofa.

TOBY
Well, I for one, was hoping you’d join us.

LOIS
Can I use the shower, Seb? I’ll leave you boys to flirt in peace.

Seb nods.

INT. LIVING ROOM- DAY
Seb and Toby are playing a football video game while sitting on the sofa.

SEB
And he gets past him again. Leaves him for dead. And, OH YES!, Tune into radio Norfolk, because that, my friend, is the back of the net. Tell me, Toby, you must meet a lot of people who beat you; would you say I’m among the more gracious winners?

TOBY
You are aware you’re the only person I ever play computer games with?

SEB
Well what improving things do you normally do on a Saturday afternoon?

Beat.

TOBY
We’d watch Masterchef.

Seb gives Toby a hug.

SEB
I cannot believe I’m hugging someone who admits to watching Masterchef. So we’ve already found one good thing about this. No more thinking chopping onions makes good television.

Lois comes in.

LOIS
Seb, no man should have that good a hair dryer. Do you mind if I make myself some coffee?

SEB
I don’t have any coffee.

LOIS
What?

SEB
It’s not good for you that stuff. I treat my body like a temple.

TOBY
You did 4 tequila slammers in a row last night.

SEB
A temple to a Mexican god. Who likes to party.

LOIS
What do you have to drink?

SEB
Green Tea.

LOIS
I think I might have to go home. Toby, what time’s your cousin arriving.

TOBY
Oh fuck! He’s coming at 1pm. What’s the time now?

LOIS
12:30pm.

TOBY
Shit! I better go.
(to Seb)
Cheers fella.

SEB
Hug it out one more time, come on.

They hug. Seb gives him a serious look in the eye to makes sure Toby knows he’s there for him. Toby smiles at its slightly intense earnestness and then heads off.

EXT. STREET- DAY
Toby and Lois are marching down the street. Lois stops at the bus stop.

TOBY
What are you doing?

LOIS
I’m getting the bus. It’ll be faster.

TOBY
No, it won’t.

LOIS
It’s quicker, especially on a Saturday.

TOBY
I promise you it’s not.

LOIS
Race ya.

Toby pulls a face as if he’d never stoop to such juvenile behaviour. Then he starts running. Hard. Lois smiles and then she looks round. She can see the bus up the road. She feels pretty confident.

INT. TUBE STATION
Toby comes racing into the station, hands flailing as he gets his wallet out. He doesn’t touch the pad properly and hits the gate. Chastened, he carefully hits it and then starts running down the escalator.

EXT. STREET- DAY
Lois calmly beeps onto the bus and goes up the stairs to the top floor.

INT. TUBE PLATFORM
Toby comes down the escalator and sees the train at the platform. He flings himself through the doors and lands loudly. He smiles to himself about just making it.
He steadies himself and then realises the doors still haven’t shut. He quietly sits down. Then another guy does exactly what he did. But this time the doors do close straight after. The man looks really pleased with himself.

INT. BUS-DAY
Lois is on the top of the bus at the front looking out. The traffic in front of her doesn’t look good.

INT. TUBE CARRIAGE
The train is about to come into the platform. Toby is at the front. Someone next to him tries to get to the front but Toby moves his shoulder across to block him. Don’t even think about it.
The doors open and he bursts out and up the stairs.

EXT. BUS-DAY
The bus clears through some traffic and starts to pick up some speed. Lois nods approvingly. She looks at her watch.

INT. TRAIN STATION DAY
Toby runs onto the platform and looks at the ticker. 7 minutes. He’s dismayed.

EXT. BUS-DAY
The bus is going really slow now. Lois gives up. She gets off and runs.

INT. TRAIN PLATFORM-DAY
The train arrives. Toby get on.

INT. ANOTHER TRAIN PLATFORM.
Lois runs up the stairs as the train arrives. She goes to the correct carriage as the doors open. As they open, she sees Toby in front of her, smiling. She smiles back.

LOIS
I guess that counts as a draw.

INT. YET ANOTHER TRAIN PLATFORM-DAY
They both get off the train.

TOBY
You know given that I had to wait for my train, I don’t think it should count as a draw.

LOIS
No, I don’t think it counts as a draw.

TOBY
Really?

LOIS
Yep. First one to the house wins.

She kicks Toby in the bollocks and runs down the stairs. Toby reels.

EXT. STREET- DAY
Lois is running, broad smile on her face, looking behind to see if Toby is coming.

EXT. STREET- DAY

Lois gets to the turn off for their street when a taxi comes by and drops Toby off right next to her. Toby pays and gets out and runs. He nearly runs straight into MARK, 27, but looking much younger despite an attempt at growing a beard. Mark is laden down with two enormous bags and looks bewildered as Lois and then Toby speed past him.

Toby races ahead and just overtakes Lois as they get to the house. He collapses in a heap.

TOBY
(catching his breath)
You. Are not. Very ladylike.

LOIS
You took a bloody taxi!

TOBY
I was injured. I needed a runner.

LOIS
You know, I thought that guy with the bags might be your cousin.

TOBY
Yeah, I was wondering that.

LOIS
Don’t you know what he looks like?

TOBY
I know what he looked like at 13. I’m working on the principle that he might have changed. Well, he’s coming towards us.

Sure enough, Mark is slowly, slightly warily, coming towards them. He’s checking the numbers and realising that, indeed, the two strange running people are outside the house that he’s meant to be going to.

LOIS
(to Toby)
Say hello to him.

TOBY
What?

LOIS
Welcome him!

TOBY
What if it’s not him?

LOIS
What if it is?

Toby and Lois look at each other and then both at the same time.

TOBY/LOIS
You must be Mark!

If Mark wasn’t unsettled before, he is now.

MARK
Yes.